It's A Love Story

Super pregnant.

2012-02-06T08:32:00.002-07:00

{photo by my one and only Mele.}

I thought you should know, I am still alive AND still pregnant.
So pregnant in fact, that I now have to roll out of bed. It ain't pretty.
So pregnant that I waddle more than a duck. Just ask the flock of baby ducks that follow me around.
So pregnant that I can finish my meal, my husbands, and yours too. Hand me the Whopper and nobody gets hurt!
So pregnant that it feels like this little guy is playing peek-a-boo in my nether regions. How's that for a visual?
I am just super pregnant.
I hope you picked up on that.

A stroller.

2012-01-23T21:39:00.002-07:00

We finally got our act together and ordered a stroller. (Actually, I won it off of eBay for a smokin' deal.) I was dreading the day it came because I was not looking forward to putting it together. This is the kind of stuff I tend to miss about Chellis' used-to-be-body. You know, all those honey-do's? Most are a defeat to Chellis now, since it is hard to do those things with just one arm.

So Friday, I came home from an afternoon out. My body was exhausted and the end of the day was no where in sight. I made my way into our room. It was covered in cardboard, plastic and styrofoam. In the middle of all the mess, sat our stroller. New, shiny, and perfectly put together.

Chellis spent three hours that afternoon putting it together all by himself with his one arm. It was the most sweet and sincere act. It made me teary all weekend thinking about it. And it still does.

That stroller has landed a special place in my heart because I know every time I use it, I will think if how wonderful my man is.

How to know you're a Little Mommy.

2012-01-18T08:31:00.002-07:00

Maddix has become quite the little Mommy. She was basically born into this role, but just recently has taken upon herself the real art of it. I feel as though I could leave the house and turn her loose, whipping the boys into shape.

My favorite little Mommy-isms of her consist of...

"You're making me crazy, you know!"
"Chew your food with your mouth closed!"
"You shouldn't do that, that's really inappropriate."
"You need to worry about yourself."

She knows where everyone is at all times. I asked my brother Cayton where my other brother was and he didn't know. She chimed in, "He's at Bass Pro Shop with his friend Jake." Daaheck!? She's five! How does one five year old know more than two adults? And his friends name?

Then, to top it all off, she said to me last week as I was cleaning the kitchen, "Mom, you're not supposed to do that. Your doctor said you had to rest on the couch for three days!" Reminding her Mom that she's on bedrest? Oy vey!

It cracks me up. But my favorite part is how caring and compassionate she is. She's always giving someone a hug, making sure everyone is happy, scratching my arm softly and saying the sweetest things. I love my little Mommy!

A New Year.

2012-01-13T08:48:00.005-07:00

I feel like 2011 was another year of huge growth for me.
As a friend, as a Mom, and as a wife.
{photos courtesy of ashley from the Bagley's annual New Years palooza}
{Yes, we were "dressed up" as Singing in the Rain. Turns out, it is hard to think of a costume for a pregnant girl and guy in a wheelchair.}
{No, I'm not drunk.}

Our marriage seemed to go through a roller coaster of emotions last year. It is so hard being the caretaker to your husband. And I attribute the trials of last year to that. We had to find our niche. What works for us and what doesn't and I love where we ended up.
I also grew as a Mother and I grew as a friend. Of course growth means that you went through something unpleasant but came out on top.

{aileen, me, reachel, beth}

I can only hope, as the all the years before have proven, that it will just get better and better. That I will grow each year. And that, like I always do, will respect the things I've learned but would never want to go back. That I will always love the here and now because yes, I miss some things about the past but the present is so much more promising.

One thing is always for certain.
I will always feel beyond lucky to have my family and friends.
I'm obsessed with them.

This year...

I want to be more patient.
I want to be more balanced.
And I want to be more kind.

Cheers to a great new year!

Oh, this guy!

2012-01-10T07:56:00.002-07:00

{photos courtesy of cardigan empire from my super fun girls date with reachel and beth}

I have six weeks left. Six weeks!

Things have been going wonderfully, besides a brutal run in with heartburn and the forfeiting of my lungs who can longer assist me up one flight of stairs.

This last weekend, after a morning with Belle and her Beast boyfriend, I came home and discovered some spotting. A quick call to Dr. Layton confirmed what I already knew was next. A trip to the hospital. Once there, they monitored me and our little guy. Dr. Layton was on call that day, and said his heart rate was higher then what they like to see and that I was having steady contractions. They put me on an IV and I got an ultrasound just to make sure nothing freaky was going on. After 2 hours on the IV his heart rate got much better but the contractions were still going on. So they gave me the dreadful terbutaline shot. It's every preggers dream to be sitting in a hospital bed whilst feeling like you are on crack, right? No. It was awful. But I got to come home shortly after, and with our hyper-doesn't-stop-for-a-second baby boy still cooking in the womb.

Contractions have been making an appearance regularly now, but let's cross our fingers and toes, and say a prayer that he can hang tight for at least two more weeks!

Better late?

2012-01-09T21:47:00.001-07:00

We hope your holidays were as great as ours. Cheers to a new year. And for us, a new baby!

Thank you Mr. Buble.

2011-12-20T09:35:00.000-07:00

This month has been filled with lots of swiping of the debit card, strep throat, and those horribly addicting "Kiss Cookies". You know the ones. Not to mention, the chilliest winter I can remember. Scarves by day, sweat pants by night. But amidst the weight gain, half pregnancy induced other half cookie, I have been kidnapped by the spunk of holiday cheer.

I would be naive if I didn't realize that my kids determine the magic of the season. Every morning, they throw the blankets off of their warm bodies and excitedly talk about where they will find Elfie. (The now very trendy, Elf on the Shelf) They scrub the morning breath out of their mouth while singing Jingle Bells and run downstairs to rip one more chain off of their Christmas chain advents. It's my favorite part of this season. Watching the anticipation build up for a whole month and then watching it all unfold in 30 minutes at 6:00 am on Christmas morning. Oy vey!

So yes, I would like to thank my little ones for making me believe for just one second, the way I used to believe when I was their age. Most definitely. Yes. I would like to thank them and Michael Buble because his Christmas album has been rocking my world.

Anniversaries galore.

2011-11-29T08:45:00.000-07:00

Chellis and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary this last weekend. And by celebrated I mean that we went out to eat, very lavishly, twice. Baby is satisfied.

Last Wednesday, we celebrated the 10th anniversary of the day of our meeting. At Target. On Black Friday. We celebrated that by going to Target and toasting ourselves over Dr. Pepper. And by finishing our Christmas shopping! *high five*
Yesterday we celebrated the 3rd anniversary of getting sealed in the temple as a family. We decided to start a new tradition by going to the temple lights and grabbing some Dairy Queen after. The first year was a chilly success.

As you can see, we have a lot to celebrate this time of year. All of it has to do with us becoming a family. I am so thankful for all three of those days. It was the day our family met, the day our family began and the day our family made it eternal.I love my husband and I wouldn't want to be on this crazy ride with anyone else. He's the ying to my yang. The salt to my pepper. The bread to my butta.

Tears on the toilet.

2011-11-22T07:00:00.001-07:00

The other day Bronson came out of the bathroom with tears on his face.
Worried, I exclaimed,

"Aww! What's the matter buddy?"

He laughed.

"They are not real tears. I just had to push really hard on the toilet that fake tears came out."

A laugh came up out of my gut that was so loud that it scared him.
Pray for his digestive system.

Goodbye Feet.

2011-11-21T09:00:00.000-07:00

While I have been absent, I have been slowly bidding farewell to my feet.

Every day they inch slowly away from view and the thought of curling up to try to reach them makes my lungs hurt. But yesterday, after a summer long defiance, I painted my toenails. Red. And that is going to be the most action they get until March.

We missed church yesterday.
And the announcement of that, made my kids a little too excited.
A fist pump and a "Yes!" isn't exactly the reaction I was expecting. I wish I could say that Sundays were relaxing and dreamy like I picture in my head but I always end up getting mad at every single person. And last Sunday, during Sacrament, when I wouldn't give Bronson more crackers he showed his disappointment in this note I found in his drawing book:

"Mom does not like Bronson."
Over crackers.
I can't imagine what he would write if I grounded him from his friends.
Needless to say, the weekends of greeting the day at 11:00 in the afternoon, laying in bed and watching crappy TV until you decide to get up and go grab some food from Taco Bell, are gone.
I won't be seeing them anytime soon...
but if you do, tell them I'm super mad they left me.

Halloween Indeed.

2011-11-01T08:50:00.000-07:00

We hope you had a
Happy Halloween!
And that your pumpkins were full to the brim.

Love,
The Mad Hatter & The Queen of Hearts

Doing nice things.

2011-10-21T14:20:00.001-07:00

Almost every morning, the ones where head doesn't feel like a rattled snow globe, I send my kids out the door with a morning mantra:

"Do something nice for someone today."

I want my kids to understand the importance of serving others. I want them to feel the leaping of their heart in their chest when they have made someone else happy. I want them to learn to put others before themselves. I believe this is the best recipe to be happy in life. It may not teach them to be successful but it will show them how to be happy. That's all I want for them.

I'm not sure if I am teaching it the right way but my kids are amazing. They surprise me when the remember to do kind things in the midst of singing the alphabet and swinging on swings. And I am the proudest Mom on this side of Target when they come and say,
"Mom, I did something nice! I gave someone one of my Oreo's because they said they like them."
Or
"I tied someone's shoe for him today because he was trying to but he didn't know how."

I mean so proud, that I get a lump in my throat and this weird watery substance in my eyes.

Tender Mercies

2011-10-11T09:24:00.002-07:00

I think about this day a lot. I think about how simple it was but how much it meant to me at that time. I thought I'd re-post it, you know, for memories sake. And also, thank you for your love and support. I appreciate you dearly.

It is a hard thing, not being able to talk to your very best friend. It is hard not knowing anything. The days he was heavily sedated I would wait all day for some miracle; Maybe he would suddenly sit up and call for me. Of course that didn't happen.

I sing to him a lullaby every day and every night. I whisper 'I love you so much.' into his ear a million and three times a day. I tell him to come home to me.

I wanted a sign; a sign that things were getting better, a sign that his mind was still intact, a sign that he still remembered me.

Tuesday night, he was awake. He was heavily sedated but as I entered the room his eyes were open, drowsy, but open. I walked to his left side as I always do and held his hand. He squeezed it so hard, and I didn't want him to let go. I could tell he was agitated and the nurse told me he was also, so I put our Ipod in his ear and let him listen to one of his favorite CD's. He calmed down, and rested his fighting body.

I knew that he couldn't hear me while he was being sung to by Tim Mcgraw. I knew it but I wanted him to know that I love him. I held up my hand as he looked at me, showing him the universal hand sign for 'I Love You', while mouthing it at the same time.

He let go of my hand he was grasping on to, and slowly raised his left hand. He mustered up his strength and weak, shakily yet diligently put his hand in a fist.

Then raised his thumb.

Then his pinky.

And finally his index finger.

I stared at it for a moment before I broke down in tears next to his head. That was what I was needing to hear. It wasn't spoken but it was worth a thousand words. As I lifted my head, I saw tears streaming down his face and finally I knew he was back to fight and that he still did love me as much as I love him.

Two years.

2011-10-10T08:15:00.001-07:00

{August 2009 road trip}

Two years ago today, at this exact time, I was sitting in an ICU waiting room awaiting the fate of my husbands life.

Two years ago. It has only been two years but then it has been two years. Did that make sense? It seems like a lifetime ago but it really hasn't been that long.

Looking back now, I can say how grateful I am for what has transpired in the last two years. I have been blessed from that horrible trial because there is no way I could have been pushed to the person I am now without it. And I know my husband shares the same feelings.

Two years ago I had faith but not as much faith as I have now. Two years ago I knew what hope felt like, but not nearly as much as I know what it feels like now. Two years ago I had compassion but not as much compassion as I share now. Two years ago I loved but now I really love. How can I not be grateful, thankful, and blessed?

Those memories are hard to digest. I would never want to relive them. But if I could see my 23 year old self in that room, I would share with her one sentence,

"I know you think you can't, but I promise, you can do this."

Heaven.

2011-10-03T08:15:00.002-07:00

Chellis and I decided we needed to take our kids out on a date.

It had been a while. There was one place we had been wanting to take them before they outgrew it. Build A Bear.
On our way there, I had the most assuring experience.

The sun way setting in front of us. Chellis was looking out the window peacefully. The kids were singing merrily in unison in the back. And I was soaking it all up.

It was so simple but in that moment I remembered something I was told when I was younger that I loved to dream about:
"You will experience heaven on earth..."

And in that simple, silly little moment, with Justin Bieber playing in the background, I smiled because I realized I was indeed living that promise.

We're Halfway there, Living on Prayer.

2011-09-27T09:20:00.000-07:00

I can't even believe that in a few short days I will be heading into my 20th week.
20 weeks! Halfway!
It has gone by so fast so far, and I can't decide if it's a good or bad thing.

On pure pregnancy related notes:

-I haven't bought little guy a single thing. Boy things are hard to come by...at Target. I need to bring out the big guns and make a trip to the mall.
-I have regained control of my bladder.
-I can no longer fall asleep comfortably. It is a nightly battle between me and my pillows.
-I have once again found my love for Dr. Pepper. I was getting worried.
-I can feel this little guy kick and flip all day long. It is the best feeling. But whenever I go to let anyone feel...he stops. So typical.
-Walmart still smells so I avoid it at all costs.
-My new obsessed craving is Chinese food. And Chellis is going down with me.
-I am transforming out of my original clothes and have begun wrapping my buttons with my hair tie.
-I am beginning to waddle. Already. But at least I am out of the awkward stage.
I think.

Saturday Morning

2011-09-26T11:00:00.002-07:00

Saturday morning, we did a whole bunch of yard work and cleaning.

Let me rephrase.
The girls did a whole bunch of yard work and cleaning while the boys played video games.

It was still deathly hot outside, and my back is paying for the labor we did. But planting our fall flowers is quickly becoming one of my favorite things. Mostly because I love the outcome. I was so proud of the hard work Maddix did that morning. She was covered in dirt and her little nails were filthy but she was proud.

Shortly after we went to Trader Joe's and Michael's, and the kids got to hang out with Uncle Bryce. Nothing beats piggy back rides mixed with tiny shopping carts perfect for their size. They threw in some things that they thought we needed: milk, chocolate milk, waffles and lemons. And we left with one of those things. Chocolate milk.

I quickly regretted not getting the waffles this morning. Turns out, kids know a lot more about what is missing from the food supply than you believe.

Kids say.

2011-09-23T08:50:00.002-07:00

{tiny hand on baby bump}

"How do babies know exactly when to come out on their birthday?"

-Bronson

It's a legit question.

Untidy.

2011-09-22T11:30:00.000-07:00

{Pregnancy treat: Double Chocolate Chip Frap with Caramel. Sans coffee.}

Sometimes my mind runs off with my sanity.
In such cases, I call for a little retail and food therapy.
It doesn't help sort the thoughts any, but it makes me feel wonderful.
Until, I pack on that 5 pounds, that is. Or maybe that is related to this baby growing inside me.
I may never know.

I have been thinking about some untidy relationships in my life.
And how their untidiness is starting to effect me.
I don't want it to but it is creeping it's way in.
I'm afraid to let the Oreo's handle this one.
And I know my husband wouldn't want me to let Target handle it either.
Looks like I'm going in solo. ;)

What do you do to help sort the untidy relationships in your life?
And tell me, how do you know when it's time to let it go?

The Results Are In.

2011-09-19T06:00:00.001-07:00

It's a...

BOY!

Maddix was in denial about the results and said,
"Try the other side of the cake!"
So we did.

She was a little disappointed it was still blue.

But it was clearly a victory for Bronson.

Seriously, all I do when I think about this memory is laugh.
We are excited for baby boy to meet us in February.

Boy or Girl?

2011-09-15T15:32:00.003-07:00

Today was the day we found out the gender.
Actually the doctor found out and wrote it on a piece of paper so I could find out with Chellis, the kids and the rest of my family on Sunday.

So, if you will, take your guess.
Will it be...
Sugar and spice and everything nice?
or
Snake and snails and puppy dog tails?

To be continued next week.

Either way, do you see that cute little profile?
I am in love. Truly.

My weekend

2011-09-13T08:28:00.000-07:00

--I had a craft night with the girls in my family. And by craft night I mean we sat around the table talking and laughing for four hours. No, please, don't call me Martha Stewart. I'm hardly.

--I made frozen hot chocolate to share with everyone in the household. Make with caution: you could easily gain 50lbs from this because you will want to make it all the time.

--Took the kids swimming for, hopefully, the last time until next summer.

--Tanned my skin a little for, unfortunately, the last time until next summer.

--Went on a chocolate run with my brother who was craving truffles. Who's the pregnant one?

--Picked up Phoebe so she could spend a night hanging out with us. Also known as, training for three kids. I can do this!

--Enjoyed the gnarliest thunderstorm we have had in a long time. At one point, I dove on top of Maddix and Phoebe to shield them from the clashing thunder.

--Watched 9/11 documentaries with Chellis all Sunday morning.

--Got ready for our All American Sunday dinner. I made potato salad for the first time ever but not the last. *high five*

--Ate said dinner and topped it off with Apple Pie and ice cream. Woo ya!

And I'm over here today. Because when Reachel Bagley asks, you don't say no. She's a gem of a friend! Truly. I am honored to call her my friend.
Stop by, will ya? :)

We remember.

2011-09-12T08:15:00.000-07:00

I forever have the image of a man jumping out of one of the Twin Towers engraved in mind. I couldn't then, and I can't now, imagine the desperation and the decision to choose your death.

Fire or free fall.

Honestly, I can't imagine any of it. It's one of those few things that you think you know, but really you have no idea unless you were there. I do know that I will forever respect those brave souls who lived it that day.

I also know, that in these last ten years I have learned what it's really like to be American. To love this country and what it's like to get choked up at the National Anthem. To see people form together and fight for the same thing. To wave the flag proudly. There is no better place than here.

And 9/11 taught me that.

Old and Pregnant.

2011-09-07T12:50:00.000-07:00

{16 weeks}

Yesterday Bronson said to me, "You can't do anything on the trampoline cause you're OLD! (then he snickered) Old and pregnant!" And I just stared at him because when you get put down by a brutally honest 6 year old there's not much to do about it. Well, besides ground him but I like to pick my battles.

I was thinking the other day about my life and I declared this the happiest I have ever been. I feel so blessed. When I was younger, I used to dream about how my life would be now. How my relationships with my family and friends would be. And let me tell you, my dreams were pretty fantastic but not nearly as fantastic as the real thing.

So I don't mind being old and pregnant so long as I get to keep living this dream I am living right now. I think playing Christmas music on my Pandora has been contributing.

Thanks for making my dreams come true.

The skirt that was.

2011-08-31T12:48:00.003-07:00

{Aileen, Reachel, Me and Beth}

Every Wednesday, Chellis and I have special dates. Dates that are really good for the soul. This afternoon we had lunch at a favorite sandwich spot in town, Urban Picnic.

As we went to leave, Chellis and I made the usual commotion moving chairs and tables to get out. When we got outside Chellis said, "Those ladies were admiring your skirt. I heard them talking about it."

"Oh, really?" I was honored.

Just then the lady came bolting out of the door and started running towards me. My ego got the better of me and I thought, "She's going to ask where I got it, how sweet. She must really want it with the pace she's running."

She stopped just shy of me and says, "I have to tell you, your skirt is uh...

"Cute? Lovely? Darling?," I thought finishing her sentence.

"... your skirt is tucked into your butt."

Only me, folks, only me.

Happy Birthday, darling!

2011-08-29T08:28:00.004-07:00

It's that glorious time of year, where the heavens part and we all bow to the majesty that is Chellis because, as you should know, it's his day of birth.
Here are some of my favorite random things about my husband?

- Chellis and I used to have mad wrestling fights back in our day. One time, back before we were married, I kicked him off the bed and he face planted into a box of wings we just got done eating. I still laugh about it.

- Chellis believes in ghosts but you will find him watching the creepiest shows and movies there are. Hence, the reason every time I try to scare him, it works.

- He has the deepest manliest voice and such a high pitched laugh. I love it. But what I love even more is that Bronson has his exact same laugh.

- His favorite food is breakfast food. Always.

- They don't have many swimming pools in Eagar and Chellis attributes that to his inability to swim very well. I have a video of him trying to learn to front flip a couple summers ago. One thing is sure about that video: he definitely learned to back FLOP.

- Chellis got his appendix taken out after it had burst when he was just a little guy.

- He used to be a snowboard instructor at one of our states snowboard parks. That is until he broke his collarbone. Still, hottest job he's ever had. Am I right?

- Chellis was the running back on his football team and also ran track and won state in the 4x4. It the first and only meet I got to see him in just after we met. It's a good memory.

- Once our dog chewed the side off of Chellis' glasses. They were worthless or so I thought. I came home once to see those glasses tied with an elastic headband from side to side and stretched over Chellis' face.

- If you asked us both separately what summer was our favorite, we would both answer with the time we had a Sunsplash pass. We once saw a guy floating in the wave pool in, get this, wranglers, a button up, a cowboy hat and cowboy boots. In the water! Floating. And I'm 90% sure we weren't imagining it.

I love him so much. I am grateful for his birthday and for every birthday to will come and go. He always has me laughing. He always has me thinking. He always has me striving to be better. That man won my heart when I was 15 and he will always have it.

Happy Birthday, dear.

Just the two of us.

2011-08-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

When there is only two of you, sometimes you have to improvise the other players in duck-duck-goose.

But most times, you are the only two you need.

Whippy Cake, yo.

2011-08-22T15:00:00.003-07:00

{Mele and I on our Take Time for Friends Friday}

Do you guys remember how I started working?

Well, it is dreamy occupation and couldn't be a better fit for me.
I don't even remember what life was like without Whippy Cake , just a few short weeks ago. It's hard to believe we ever lived without each other.
It was love at first sight. Especially since every time I go into the office, my eyes are fixated with ribbon, lace and oodles of girly-ness as far as the eye can see.
I am lucky enough to work from the comfort of home as their Creative Manager and Assistant with the flexibility of lunch dates and carpool.

And oh, sweet mercy, how I love Becki.

So from now on, my fancy little friends, whenever you order anything from Whippy Cake or happen to email us, know you are talking to me on the other side of the internet. I'm waving at you through your computer and applauding the new cake on top of your head. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't share the giveaway going on at the Whippy Cake blog right now. We are celebrating 10k followers on Facebook. You wanna see?

Anyway, that's that. I am a working girl now.
And I like the sound of it.

A girl with a prayer.

2011-08-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

This was strictly Maddix's prayer last night:

"Please help Bronson to always be nice.
Please help Bronson to listen to his teacher.
Please help Bronson to choose the right.
Please help Bronson not to get a bloody nose.
Please help Bronson to stop being weird.
Please help Bronson to stop looking at me right now."

I guess she feels like Bronson needs a lot of help from the big man upstairs.
Glad she's lookin' out.

Pickles and Ice Cream

2011-08-17T08:07:00.000-07:00

Well, hot dang! Thank you all so so so much for your 'Congratulations'.
I feel so special and loved. You guys rock my little pregnant world.
Speaking of pregnant...
This pregnancy has me thinking pickles and ice cream would make a perfect pair.

No joke.
I thought that last week and I was this close to making it a snack.
Total cliche, right?

Craving:
Grilled Cheese Sanwiches
Barro's Pizza
Thai Food
Tomato Soup
*Taco Bell's Nachos Bell Grande
*McDonalds 80 cent hamburgers
Sour Patch Kids
*Mike and Ikes
*Diet Coke!
*Pickles and Ice Cream
Double Stuf Oreos

Please note that the starred items are things I would never dream of having in my non-knocked up state. Especially, Diet Coke and McDonald's. It grosses me out that I like those.

Disgusted by:
Dr. Pepper

I know.
It was the saddest story of my life.
Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go pee for the 217th time today.

Tres, trois, drei, tre, three.

2011-08-15T06:45:00.000-07:00

13 weeks and counting.

♥

I Trust You'll Treat Her Well

2011-08-10T09:00:00.002-07:00

by: Dan Valentine

Dear World:

I bequeath to you today one little girl...in a crispy dress...with two brown eyes...and a happy laugh that ripples all day long...and a flash of light brown hair that bounces in the sun when she runs. I trust you'll treat her well.

She's slipping out of the backyard of my heart this morning...and skipping off down the street to her first day of school. And never again will she be completely mine. Prim and proud she'll wave her young and independent hand this morning and say "Goodbye" and walk with little lady steps to the schoolhouse.

Now she'll learn to stand in lines...and wait by the alphabet for her name to be called. She'll learn to tune her ears for the sounds of school-bells...and deadlines...and she'll learn to giggle...and gossip...and look at the ceiling in a disinterested way when the little boy 'cross the aisle sticks out his tongue at her. And now she'll learn to be jealous. And now she'll learn how it is to feel hurt inside. And now she'll learn how not to cry.

No longer will she have time to sit on the front porch on a summer day and watch an ant scurry across the crack in the sidewalk. Nor will she have time to pop out of bed with the dawn and kiss lilac blooms in the morning dew. No, now she'll worry about those important things...like grades and which dress to wear and whose best friends is whose. And the magic of books and learning will replace the magic of her blocks and dolls. And now she'll find new heroes.

For five full years now I've been her sage and Santa Claus and pal and playmate and mother and friend. Now she'll learn to share her worship with her teachers ...which is only right. But no longer will I be the smartest woman in the whole world. Today when that school bell rings for the first time...she'll learn what it means to be a member of the group...with all its privileges and its disadvantages too.

She'll learn in time that proper young ladies do not laugh out loud...or kiss dogs...or keep frogs in pickle jars in bedrooms...or even watch ants scurry across cracks in sidewalks in the summer.

Today she'll learn for the first time that all who smile at her are not her friends. And I'll stand on the front porch and watch her start out on the long, lonely journey to becoming a woman.

So, world, I bequeath to you today one little girl...in a crispy dress...with two brown eyes...and a flash of light brown hair that bounces in the sunlight when she runs.

I trust you'll treat her well.

When You Wish Upon A Sheet...

2011-08-08T15:05:00.004-07:00

"Mom, can you guess who I am?"

"Hmm, I don't know. Who?"
"I'm Princess Kate!"

Sister can make an ordinary sheet into an elegant wedding gown using just her imagination.

How could you be so Toothless?

2011-08-04T09:15:00.000-07:00

When Bronson lost his first tooth, his Grandma pulled it out for him.

Then when he lost his second tooth, his dad did it.
And both times I was no where to be found.

When his top tooth was nearing the end of its baby life, I told him that he needed to do it all by himself (and I made sure I was there). I always liked the feel of pulling out my own teeth (is that weird?) and I knew he would be proud of himself if he could do it.

He tried a variety of methods during the week, from tying his tooth to a string, biting into an apple, good old fashioned wiggling, when finally...
I heard the Tooth Fairy was extremely tired that night so she hired a sub.
When we woke up in the morning, Bronson told me that the Tooth Fairy left him $16! I almost...you know what.
Even though the Tooth Fairy gave him a ridiculous amount, $16 is how much money he has now.
I think our boy ought to start a business trading teeth for money with this fairy.

Must be doing something right.

2011-08-02T08:30:00.001-07:00

In the wave pool, at Sunsplash last week, Maddix yells,
"Look! I'm floating on a wave....like Jesus!"

And I've been laughing about it for a week straight.

Dragging it on.

2011-08-01T10:20:00.001-07:00

If you'll pardon my absence, I have been sucking the life out of summer with my kids.
And honestly, I had been trying my hardest to make July drag on. I am anxiously getting ready to brace myself for all the changes August has brought with it.

In August, I will start working for the first time in 6 years.
In August, Bronson will start 1st grade and Maddix will begin her first day of Kindergarten.
In August, our dearest friends will be moving away.

This is the hardest change.Bronson will say goodbye to Jake who is so much like a brother to him. The boy he can count on the play pool, and wiffle ball with. To tease the girls and do backflips on the trampoline. Mostly the one who knows how to be as much of a boy with him as anyone.Maddix will say goodbye to three girls she adores and one imparticular, Hannah, who has changed her life. Who is, as of this young age of 5, the only best friend she has ever known. Hannah will be the girl she forever compares her other friends to because no one will get Maddix quite like Hannah does. (Oh, my heart can't take it.) I will part ways with my personal heaven sent angel, Karrie, who has so much shared these last crucial two years with me. Who has taught me so much just by the way she lives and they way she loves. She has genuinely changed my life and it is because of her that I know without a shadow of a doubt that Heavenly Father puts people in our life for a reason and a season.

August begins a new chapter of our life.
I hope you'll stick around to see how it goes.
I've missed you guys.

With a broken heart that's still beating.

2011-07-15T08:45:00.000-07:00

When my mind goes to the night our world flipped upside down, the night Chellis had his stroke, I redirect it. It's not something I like or want to think about. But one thing always replays in my head from that night. Those three words I uttered after my Mom instructed me, crouched over my blue husband, to call 911. I asked her, with confusion, as if there was another option. As if this really wasn't happening,

"Are you sure?"

Doesn't that seem so silly? I guess if you could hear the tone of my voice you would hear that I was dead serious. It makes me shake my head every time. I can't believe I stalled for those seconds, but what felt like hours, before my Mom assured me that the answer to my question was "yes".

I was in denial. I was sincerely thinking that he would just cough a little, then pop up like nothing ever happened. And more than anything, I really did not want to go down the road we were about to go down. I don't think I was saying "are you sure?" to calling 911 as much as I was saying "are you sure?" to our future.

It was a little cry to Heavenly Father. "Are you sure this is what you want for me? For us? Are you sure you don't want to change your mind because I wouldn't care if you did? Are you sure I can handle this? Just, are you sure?"

Not that I don't have faith. I would like to think I have a strong enough faith to move mountains. And not that I doubt Him but I doubted that moment and the moments I knew were coming once I made the call. But if I really think about it, I have had many "Are you sure?" moments in my short life. Haven't we all asked that, either out loud or in the privacy in our own head, at least once in our life? Hoping there is another option, another path? I sure hope I'm not the only one.

As you know, Heavenly Father answered my question with a big "Yes". And I like to think that, regarding this situation before I came here, He asked me the same question, "Are you sure?"

I know that I smiled back and with conviction answered a simple but determined, "Yes."

What do you do in the Summertime?

2011-07-12T09:15:00.002-07:00

7-Eleven was giving away free Slurpee's on 7-11-11. Fitting, of course.
However, the free cups were about the height of a crayon so we went ahead and bought some good its-hot-outside-summer-in-July size cups.
They were pleased with their choices.
Pina colada, Coke and Wild Cherry.

Then we scooted on over to Target because...
well, there are a lot of reasons but yesterday it was just two.
1) I needed hangers.
And 2) Target is cooler than my house.

I recommend wandering that red bullseye store to anyone who is hot in their home, their car or in their own skin.
Go ahead and lay your face on Target's cold tile floor.

Is that what you do?
So do I.

Top 10 Happy Happenings From Our Vacation

2011-07-08T08:00:00.001-07:00

10) Playing TROUBLE at least 45 times with our children.

9) Wiffle ball in the rain.

8) Rain. Period.

7) A family outing to Show Low to see Cars 2 then eat a yummy lunch. Cars 2 was pretty dang cute.

6) Reacquainting with nephews/cousins. It's been years!

5) Eating more than my weight in food and goodies. I ate a lot of rice krispie treats.

4) A hot and sweaty parade.

3) Fireworks.

2) Seeing cousin Ashlee and baby Nolan. And of course, Uncle Bob.

And my number one happy happening is {drum roll}

1) Being in a one story (instead of 3) house with my little family. Really? Really! It allowed us to all be in the same room constantly. Curse you stairs for not being accessible to wheelchairs. We all felt so much closer...literally and figuritively.

It's the little things.

Here.

2011-06-28T08:45:00.002-07:00

We have been hiding in the mountains of Eagar, Arizona.

Chellis' hometown and the place where my mother in law still resides.
Here, it is 85 degrees and windy.
Here, our children rely on their imaginations to have a good time.Here, grasshoppers are taken hostage by an excited 6 year old who has a renewed love for the outdoors and all things boy.
Here, my daughter finds comfort in snuggling my arm until she falls asleep and I find the same comfort in my husband.Here, our little family bonds throughout the day over Mexican food, foreign stores and Wiffle ball games.Here, we have left the hustle and bustle of the city behind and find that everything we need is already...here.

3 days here, 9 to go.

Junebug Summer Days.

2011-06-23T09:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday the high was 113.
Seriously.
The kids and I were out all day running errands.
The only way to survive these summers is staying inside or swimming. So, if you can, imagine our red cheeks from being in and out of the car all afternoon.Yesterday, the swimming pool was just calling out name. After getting home and consuming lots of pizza the kids took the loot they got (the 10th tub of chalk in a year) from Target and headed outside.

{Nevermind Bronson's slouchy eye in this and my daughters messy pizza face}

I love chalk but mostly I love watching my kids chalk up their masterpieces.
I got kind of nervous when Bronson first drew this "B":

Because it was kind of looking like...well, you know.
:)
Cute little guy has been practicing his block letters.
He picked it up from me doodling his name in Sacrament meeting at church.
He's basically and pro now.
And a sweetheart.

If you can't read 6 year old writing, that says:
"Bronson ♥ Maddix"

I adore times like that because I know I've raised best friends.

Side story:
The other day we were driving to go swimming when one of the kids friends was talking about how she was going to the Drive In movies that night.

Friend: "Have you ever been to the Drive Ins? It's so fun!"
Bronson: "No, but we always go to the Drive THRU!"

I had and still am having a good laugh over that.

Hello, Ms. PacMan.

2011-06-20T09:25:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, there was a girl who fell in love...with the game of PacMan.

Wherever she could find that arcade game, she would find a quarter and play. As she got older, there became a long period of time where she hadn't seen nor played that game.

Until one fateful Saturday afternoon...

She then realized something. Something fierce.

You can take the girl out of the competition but you can't take the competitor out of the girl...or something like that.

Also, that those ghosts that chase you around can rot in you know where. Seriously.
I am having dreams of them chasing me.
Must.get.the.strawberry.

I will always be in love with that game and I'm passing on the love one generation at a time:

Also, I may be really loud when I play Ms. PacMan. My family reported hearing me across the restaurant. Embarrassing.

But in my defense, it gets very intense in level 5.

I Know How To Love You Well.

2011-06-16T00:01:00.001-07:00

I love my husband so much.
He has taught me so much about patience.
Not because of the things I have had to do for him but because he is always waiting patiently for everyone else.

Sitting in his chair, hands together with fingers intertwined, smiling and waiting.

Marriage is hard, guys. We have our ugly days (or months). It is work every.single.day. But marriage is mostly beautiful.

My marriage is my greatest accomplishment and thing I am most proud of in my life.

Yes, our marriage has faced many obstacles that could have easily taken us down but neither of us have given up. If you would have told me when we got married that my husband would be wheelchair ridden just 5 years later, I would have thrown punch in your face. It has been so so hard. I will never sugar coat the endurance we have and continue to give. There have been so many tough times. There have been many tears. But it has been the best test of love we could have ever had.

Chellis can't be there for me the same like he was for all those years. I know that it hurts him to not be able to but it's funny, I don't need those same things from him. We've adapted. We have found what works best for us now and it is way better than what worked for us then.

He is the life vest of my life. I rely on him. On his love. His support. His encouragement. The priesthood that he holds. The generous desire he has to be a full tithe payer for our family every month. His sweet words and kind gestures.

Everyday when we wake up, we have a choice to be there. To be married to who we are married to. And we have that same choice every night.

We have had that choice for nearly 7 years. I had that choice everyday for three months while Chellis was in the hospital. I had the choice to be at his bedside or with our children. He has that choice every month when I am nothing but a witch hyped up on Dr. Pepper. Every minute of everyday you have the choice, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse and everyday I will continue to make my choice.And darlin'...

I choose you.

Our Baby Girl Turns Five.

2011-06-14T05:00:00.001-07:00

Today our baby girl turns 5.

Five.
Five seems so old to me. And it is.
She is amazing in every sense of the word.
She is funny.
She is shy.
She is brave.
She loves life.

She is all girl.

She is perfect.

.::Favorites on Her 5th Birthday::.

What's your favorite color? Purple
Who's your best friend? Hannah Banana
What's your favorite food? Macaroni & Cheese
Where is your favorite place? Disneyland and Utah
What is your favorite holiday? Mothers Day (ya...I giggled) and Christmas.
What is your favorite thing to do? Play with my friends and Swim.
What is your favorite song? Taylor Swift. (Favorite singer will do.)
.::Her future according to her 5 year old self::.

What do you want to be when you grow up? A Princess.

If you could be anything, what would you be? A Butterfly.
How old do you want to be when you get married? A teenager. (Negative, Ghost Rider!)
Do you want to be a Mom? Yes.
What kind of mom do you think you will be? A fun one. Like you, except I will NEVER get mad. (Well, I just quoted you on that didn't I? Good luck.)

If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Rapunzel.
What makes you most happy? Disneyland, feeding ducks, riding my bike, playing with my friends, playing with my brother and getting tickled.

"In my daughters eyes I am a hero.

I am strong and wise and I know no fear.
But the truth is plain to see.
She was sent to rescue me. I see who I want to be in my daughters eyes.

When she wraps her hand around my finger it puts a smile in heart.
Everything becomes a little clearer. I realize what life is all about.
It's hanging on when your heart has had enough. It's giving more when you feel like giving up.
I've seen the light, in my daughters eyes.

In my daughters eyes I can see the future.
A reflection of who I am and what will be.
And though she'll grow and someday leave; maybe raise a family.
When I'm gone, I hope you'll see how happy she made me.
For I'll be there...
In my daughters eyes."

I love you so much sis.

You are a ray of sunshine in my life. You are my best friend.
And everyday, you save me.
You have taught me so much in your 5 short years.
You have taught me to be more compassionate, have more patience and to love every single moment of every single day. Most importantly, you have taught me that motherhood the most beautiful thing in this world.I know that Heavenly Father lives and loves me and I am reminded of that everyday because He sent me you.

Happy Birthday sweetheart.
♥

What's In The Bag, Old Hag?

2011-06-13T08:20:00.000-07:00

{{Bag from Anthro:Birthday gift. Flower Felt Pin:Made by Mele}}

This is my "What's in the Bag" post.
I did it for two reasons.
One, I got a couple emails about it.
And two, I like looking at other peoples because I'm curious. {aka nosey}
So for your viewing pleasure:

a} My keys were surprisingly in my purse. They are usually scattered about the house and take me a good five minutes to find. They are reallllly good at hide 'n seek.
b} Pluto pen from Disneyland because I always need a pen handy.
c} Good luck charm given to me by my best friend a couple years ago. It goes right in each and every purse I carry.
d} My plethora of lip glosses.
e} iPod touch that we mostly let the kids use so they don't get our screen all greasy-fied.
f} Hand sanitizer because, well, Bronson hit a pigeon with his hand the other day. I have kids.
g} A comb for good hair measure.
h} I randomly found an 'A' scrabble piece. Ya, I was surprised too. We've been looking for you! ;)
i} Urban Outfitter sunglasses. My favorite to date. And there have been a lot.
j} Nerd glasses for the "hipster" in me. Or just when I look like death.
k} Peppermints.
l} One of Maddix felt bow clips.
m} Another random find: a ping pong ball. Seriously? I think my kids shove stuff in there.
n} Blank notes because you never know when you will be thankful or feel sentimental.
o} My phone that practically is smarter than I am. If you don't have an iphone...well, you don't have an iPhone. Isn't that commercial kinda stuck on itself?
p} Loose change. Not even enough for a Sonic drink. Hmmph.
q} My lovely red leather wallet from Anthro that is freakishly heavy.

You guys, if you haven't done this, you need to because it gives you a chance to clean out the receipts, wrappers and crumbs.
Crumbs? No? Just me?
Carry on...

Hamburger Trees In Our Backyard.

2011-06-09T23:59:00.001-07:00

Tonight after eating our Chicken Burgers I heard Bronson and Maddix formulating some sort of plan.
They went out back.
I heard the hose water come on...then off.
And a couple minutes later they were back in the house.

Me: "What were you guys doing out there?"

Maddix: "I picked the seeds off my hamburger bun..."

Bronson: "Ya! So we planted our Hamburger Tree right next to the apple trees we planted earlier."

"And Mom, we can't wait till the hamburgers grow cause we will probably eat them all."

Well, shoot dangit.
If I'd only known they were planting seeds. I would have ran to grab some In-N-Out Burger buns. ;)

And yes, the apple seeds are from one of the apples they ate a week ago.

My New Perspective.

2011-06-08T22:30:00.001-07:00

I have been so content lately.
As a matter of fact, it's the most content I have ever been.

I've realized a few things lately that have changed my perspective on life and all the relationships I have.

The only thing I have control over is myself.
My actions.
My reactions.
My words.
My love.
My life.
Other people are a huge part of my life and yes, sometimes they cause hurt (and vice versa) but I just can't sit around worrying about what so-and-so said, or what so-and-so did. Those are their choices.

At the end of the day, I can only worry about me. I can only hope that the choices I make are what is best for me and those around me and in my care. Most importantly, I've learned to OWN every single choice, action and reaction. Trust me, you will find yourself so proud when your head hits the pillow if you just own your life.And whenever I start to get bummer thoughts about my relationship with anyone, I really just stop and think, "What do I do that probably bothers them? Or what can I do to try to make our relationship better?"

Let me tell you, it works. There is always something that I can try to do a little better and I am no longer bothered or bummed.That my friends, is how I realized there is a difference between putting 110% into your life and putting 110% into your individual relationships. They shouldn't all fall under the Life category. All of my relationships are different and unique. I love and appreciate every single one. So I will give my 110% to every single relationship.

I will work on me. I will work on making the best choices I can make. I will work on owning it all. And that is my new perspective on life.
It may be intimidating, it definitely makes you feel vulnerable but believe me...
It's worth the jump.
It definitely has been so far.

What is one thing you want to work on to better yourself?

A Holy Smokin' Weekend.

2011-06-06T05:00:00.000-07:00

•Swimming, swimming lots of swimming with great company to boot.

♥One of my best friends Candice brought her herd to come spend the day with mine. Baby Olivia was not a fan of the water.

•Heart shaped watermelon are the kids' new fave. They swear it tastes better. I swear they're crazy.

♥Our new favorite summer braid: A la the Waterfall Braid. So fun, so easy and a must try for summer.

•Thrift store Saturday. This week, since my kids were amazing at their chores and workbook pages they got to pick something from the thrift store. They love that place and I crack up at the things they just "have to have". See Maddix's creepy doll.

♥Date night. We went to Flancer's after a long, unintended seperation from it. Hello, Prickly Pear sandwich and sweet potato fries.

•After being stuffed to our core, we headed to the movies. Our favorite pastime.

♥I love lazy Sunday mornings. We have late church so we get to sleep in. And by that I mean, I get to sleep in till about 8 and Chellis sleeps till about 11. How is that even fair? Ehh, I haven't slept in that late since I was 17.

•My friend Rachel and I totally matchy matched at church today. That hasn't happened since high school...or possibly ever. No joke.

♥Had a hilarious Sunday game night of Scrabble with the fam damily. Who doesn't love scrabble? I mean, yes, sometimes I like to sneak a scrabble square of the letter I need. Some call it cheating but I call it a sacrifice. I have to do it...for my country.

{{And as if the weekend couldn't get any better, Mele welcomed her little man into the world after 30 hours of labor. And I rejoiced. I love her babies.}}

Preschool Graduate.

2011-06-04T11:05:00.000-07:00

Maddix's preschool graduation celebration was the most darling thing I have seen all year.

All the parents sat back and listened to the little ones sing the fun little songs they have learned all year. We laughed as they sang in Spanish and clapped as they bounced around like popcorn.
Our girl loves that sort of thing. While she's singing she's right in her element. Her little singing voice is loud and prideful. She's moves her hips and swings her arms like she's the star on a Broadway show.

But as soon as the song was over she would melt into of puddle of that shy little girl who doesn't like too much attention on her. She loves it but she hates it.
We are so proud of this little missy and everything she has learned this year. She is geared up and smarted up for Kindergarten. She loves to learn and is counting down the days till school starts.
Every morning I wake up to hear little voice singing from her bedroom or the bathroom as she gets ready for the day. "Te me gusto, that means 'I like you'. I really really do..." It's always a different song and it's always adorable.

Kindergarten is lucky. They will get to spend their day with this smart, bubbly, energetic, shy, bashful, dreamy, gorgeous and happy little girl who really isn't so little anymore.

Four Men and A Little Lady.

2011-06-01T08:05:00.001-07:00

I had a dinner date on Sunday night with Chellis and my three brothers.

The thing about being the only girl is you are at a table with four boys who think differently, eat more caveman-ish and say somewhat dirty things.

And sometimes you join in and eat with your hands.

And maybe you egg on the dirty things said by laughing.

And you find yourself sticking chopsticks in your mouth like only a good fool knows how.

And pretending your little brother is a sushi roll himself.

Mostly, you end up acting like one of the guys.

Gosh, I can't wait till they all get married.

p.s. Do you guys pinterest? I'm obsessed. I want to see all of your boards.

The winner of the TOMS giveaway is comment #74

who is amberbuck!
Congrats girl!
Email me at alexahall17(at)gmail(dot)com. :)

I Welcomed Summer.

2011-05-31T06:01:00.000-07:00

Oh, boy howdy.

This summer has been rough. Yes, it's only been four days but let me tell ya...we got off to a rocky start. The kids couldn't even contain themselves like properly mannered children in the house. It was a zoo! A dang zoo, I tell you.

I sat them down right before dinner on Saturday and told them things I expected and what consequences would be. I told them we are going to have a sticker chart for the summer and when they get a certain number of stickers they get to pick a prize from "Mom's totally awesome and totally real treasure box". Bronson laughed at me insisting that, I being the average Mom that I am, would never have a real treasure box.

We'll see who has the last laugh when they see the loot I have for their treasures.
{Thank you Target dollar bins!}

I bribed the kids all day on Memorial Day with a trip to our local public pool. It worked wonders. I mean, I had Bronson cleaning windows and Maddix dusting all the dining room chairs.

Those you of yet to be moms who are thinking, "I will never bribe my children, I won't have to", I used to think so too. Things change when you become a Mom. You are nothing like you thought you would be but you are everything you want to be.

You're always changing. Striving for better. Perfecting you patience. You are always becoming. And your job is never done.
We made it to the freezing pool. We dilly dallied in the water. The kids swam here and there but we were mostly just...cold. It's the end of May and we had our doors open all day. It's been just lovely.

And then that night, I watched our children having a ball with some Long boards. I don't what it is or why but they love them. They were laughing their heads off as they raced each other down the walkway, over the curb and swifting smoothly along the black gravel road until they came to a complete stop. I watched them as they held hands, assuring each other, in a way only brothers a sisters know how and I smiled. I welcomed that moment.
I welcomed the blazing sun.
I welcomed the season of swimsuits.
I welcomed the tears.
I welcomed the time outs.
I welcomed cereal every morning.
I welcomed the rich laughter of a happy childhood we will have throughout the house.
I welcomed this special three months we have with our children.
I welcomed Summer.

And the proud owner of the Shabby Apple Dress selected randomly by random.org is comment #189
The face behind comment #189 is Jeff and Michelle Galovan!! Congrats girl. Email me and we will get that dress shipped to you asap. TOMS winner announced tomorrow. You guys rock!

Welcome to the Dog Days of Summer.

2011-05-26T18:20:00.001-07:00

My life has officially been hijacked by an almost 5 and 6 year old for the next three months.
You know what they say: Summer is not for Mothers.
Actually, I just made that up.

The thing of it is, here's the thing: Once you have kids in school, you can't go back.
Kind of like if you've had a 9 month play time with a Lamborghini you will find it quite hard to go back to your Dodge Neon. Not that there is anything wrong with your Dodge, you love it. You really really love it.But the Lamborghini...I mean, come on!

You get the point.

Really, I am so excited to have my kids home for the summer. We are going to be doing a lot of family bonding over the next couple months before we send both of our kids off into the real world. But I know there will be chaos, there will be tears...from all three of us, and there will be teaming up. Them against me. But I won't go down without a fight.
Here's to summer! (clinking of our Italian Soda filled wine glasses) And cheers to the best neighborhood this side of the Mississippi! (more clinking)

Karrie threw the annual end of the year water fight when the kids ran off the bus. Wanna watch?

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes.

2011-05-24T20:45:00.000-07:00

In two days this boy will graduate from kindergarten.
And tomorrow afternoon our girl will graduate from preschool.
Two teensy graduations to the world. Two big ones for us.
For them.

In two days, I will have a first grader and a kindergartner.
In two days, summer vacation begins.
(Summer Vacation=The Time of Year You Are Tortured By Your Children)
Let's hope I survive. The heat and the ruckus.

Our little family life is changing.
The kids are growing up and moving along.
They are growing up so magically too. I am proud.
Soon my role as the mother will change from the normalcy it has been for the last 6 years.
There will be no more kids at home during the day.
No one begging for lunch or to play barbies.
(Unless Chellis is into that. ♥)

But I am more than happy to be that mother that does big kid stuff.
That mother that is staying up late to build a last minute cardboard box car (that i found out about at 9:30 at night) so her son can proudly sit in it during the "drive-in movie" at school the next day.

Whatever it is, whatever their age, one thing is eternal:
I l♥ve being their Mom.

A Fancy Friday Dinner Party.

2011-05-23T09:00:00.001-07:00

On Friday night, Chellis and I got all dressed up and went to the most amazing dinner party at Beth's house. It was to die, guys. Seriously. It was beautiful there. Too bad my camera battery was 2 pictures short of being dead. We chatted in her house while we waited for the delish gourmet pizza to finish up. Beth's husband is a very talented chef. Hats off.

I think I did an audible gasp when I walked outside. It was gorgeous. Tiny paper lanterns were strung. Wine glasses, white glass plates and sunflowers filled the table. And the weather was perfection. The wind blew strong enough to scare Angela into thinking her skirt was going to fly up but not hard enough where her skirt actually did. We sat at our designated place settings equipped with our own name tags. I did get a picture of ours. (Laurens was the best. ;))
We chowed down our pizza and salad got totally sugar wasted on Italian Soda. We sat and talked for nearly four hours. We probably overstayed our visit but we could have spent many more hours there with all of those lovely couples. I am so grateful for their sweet friendships. I am also grateful for the kindness their husbands showed my husband. I would gladly spend every Friday night with them.

Beth, you are the hostess with mostess (with the cutest house too). You are the sweetest woman I know. Seriously.
Reachel, you are a modern day belle. You amaze me. (I'm going to take you up on the "Let's Do Dinner")
Angela, you have such a soft and elegant aura about you. You are just divine.
Ashley, you are darling and so so sweet. You were an instant friend. Cheers to Puppies!
Lauren, you are beautiful and hilarious. You have such a happy glow and there's always a smile on your face.
Aileen, I don't think I know a more laugh out loud, hilarious woman than you. You are definitely more than just a pretty face. Let's get together.
Stephanie, you were a doll and so friendly.

We were in great company, as you can see. I absolutely loved everything (and everyone) about that night. More importantly, so did Chellis.

Counting down the days till the next one because it was totally worth the Italian Soda hangover.

The Rapture Was Here.

2011-05-22T10:45:00.001-07:00

I want to tell you all about my weekend.

I do. It's been amazing.
But alas, I feel like we have to get this big elephant out of the room.

I'll just go ahead and say it...the rapture was crazy.
No billboard in town (or out of town) could have prepared me for this.
I mean, there we were, minding our own business when...
Well, see for yourselves:Right?
Riiiiight??

Turns out they just dropped their clothes in the middle of the road and ran to grab a Strawberry Soda. I was so relieved.
But I'm sure you all can see how crazy it really could have gotten around here.

I am happy to report we all survived and live to tell the tale of this so called rapture slash end of the world "scare". (Was anyone even really scared?)

Even if it did happen, it would have been really disappointing...we were right in the middle of watching Sixth Sense for the trumpteenth time on TV and I would have been disappointed I didn't get to see the ending.

Poor Bruce Willis, dead the whole time.
Never gets old.

What were you doing at 6pm on May 21st?

Don't forget about the giveaway below. :)

Keep Reading, It Gets Better. Promise.

2011-05-20T09:20:00.003-07:00

Last night, I was trying to get my pajama pants on. I had mine and Bronson's pj's in one hand and was taking off my dress with the other. I got it halfway down when I stepped on the stickiest piece of cardboard paper. Literally, would.not.come.off.

And I would know.

I started shaking my foot to get it off, with my dress around my ankles and pajamas flying in the air. It all happened so fast. Next thing I knew, my body was falling towards my bed in a very ugly manner. In an attempt to avoid hitting in weird, I did a tuck and roll, hit the side of my bed then fell flat on the ground. I laughed to myself for a good while before getting up, putting my pajamas over my unders and my hair back in place.For some reason, whenever an adult falls (me) I think it should be documented since it is usually always funny. Except when Chellis fell at Disneyland...
Nope. That's still a little funny.I am in love with May this week. We have had killer weather. The kind where you should be jealous but you won't be in a couple weeks. It has been in the lower 80s and on Wednesday we got rain. It was a nice distraction from what my kids have been doing all week. You know...watching the Justin Bieber movie. (Note: turns out if you watch it, you will end up kind of loving him cause now, I am one less lonely girl. ;)) Seriously.
So guys, I am going to ask a quick little favor. Remember how much I want new family pictures? Remember how my favorite photographer moved to Kentucky? Well, Ashley Madsen is my girl now and she's having a contest on her Facebook page. The person who gets the most people to "Like" her page then write on her wall that "Alexa Hall sent me" wins a mini session with her. Do you think you guys can help a sister out? It's going to be a long shot, but it's worth a try right?If you do, come back and comment that you did! That will give you an extra entry for the giveaway.

What giveaway you ask?

For the $40 gift certificate to TOMS shoes of course! That's right guys, they are so sweet and we wanted to do something nice for you guys. You know, part of my reader appreciation. So if you've made it this far in my rambling you know that all you have to do is leave a comment to enter.
And for the extra entries, go "like" Ashley's Facebook page and write on her wall "Alexa Hall sent me." Then let me know you did. Sound good? Of course it does cause check these babies out!

I'm so excited for this weekend. It's gonna be a good one and I hope yours is just as fab.

What I did on May 17.

2011-05-19T17:17:00.002-07:00

I love perfect days.
Days where everything goes just right.
That was how my birthday was.
I even got all the green lights on my way around town.

You know what I did?

I went to the Myotechnics office (which is like a massage/chiropractor. it's more on the natural side) and got all put back into place. Oh guys, let me tell ya! I have never felt so good. But do any of you get nervous that when you are getting popped, you are going to accidentally fart? Wouldn't you just die? Maybe, if you're really lucky, it would be strong enough for a total knockout so you could grab your purse and run...after leaving a really good tip, of course.

(red toes, and darling charm "A" necklace from cousin Kelsie)

Anyway, then I went and used the gift certificate Karrie gave me for a pedicure. I laughed literally out loud the entire time. Why, you might ask yourself? Well, first it tickles my feet when they scrub them. Secondly, I am reading Tina Fey's book. It's hilarious and a total LOL. For instance, she tells about the time she passed out while getting her first pap smear. And it's things like that that make me love the USA even more-Freedom of Speech.
Next stop was a delish lunch at Sauce with some of my fave girls, Mele and Miss Phoebe. We stuffed our faces before heading to the Semi-Annual tag sale at Anthropologie. I got the most amazing dress there. I plan on saving it for Maddix. And yes, yes, I got purse. I had to, it was marked down $100! Okay, guys! Enough questions! I don't want to brag. ;) I also bought a shirt.

(new purse THANKS MOM and BABE, and cute bday sign from Mele, she also made the flower pin on my purse)

I took my full belly and heavy shopping bag on home to take a little cat nap. Turns out when you turn 25, you suddenly need more naps. And chocolate. What? It's not me, it's my age.

I freshened up just in time to be taken out on a date by my main man...not Bronson...Chellis. We ate some (actually some is an understatement, Chellis ordered half the menu) delish sushi at RA then did a just for fun trip to Target.

I can feel you all judging me and my Target trips through the computer screen right now. ;)
And we ended the day with some yummy Thrifty's ice cream before heading home and watching The Voice. (I was so sad Elenowen had to go. They are adorable.)

There's only one day in the entire year that is all about you. A day where you can do all of those things and not have any buyers remorse or eaters remorse (is eaters remorse even a thing? if not, it is now.) Thank you guys for all the sweet birthday wishes. It was a beautiful day. It couldn't have gone better if I wanted it to.

It's been an amazing, trying, learning, rewarding, and hilarious 25 years of life. And I am grateful for every single year of them.

Twenty Five.

2011-05-17T07:30:00.001-07:00

I always dreamt of going on Legends of the Hidden Temple growing up.

Now, I dream of going on Wheel of Fortune.

I've never really had a set favorite color because I change my mind like the weather. But when I was 14 I painted my room a light purple and kept it that way until I moved out when I was 16.

I am afraid of heights and bugs that jump.

FRIENDS was my favorite show and I now can pretty much quote every episode. Not really but I still laugh like I've never seen it. "Whoa. Where are you going in those pants? 1982?" Haha! Oh, Monica...

Google is my best friend. And diamonds. And girls who know who they are when they read this.

I still laugh every time I see a shake weight. Am I 13?

I cry in movies at the movie theater.

I was Student Body Secretary in elementary school. That's right, I had a speech and all.

No matter how much you practice, it's so hard not to laugh when your child innocently says something really inappropriate.

My lucky number is 17. Good things happen when 17 is involved. Don't believe me? Ask the 17 year old me. Or any 17 year old for that matter. ;)

The really inappropriate thing Bronson asked my brother was, "Do you want to have sexy with Harry Potter?" Can I just explain that he learned the word/meaning of "sexy" at school from his best friend. He obviously does not now what it is, but he knows how to use it. Therfore, I had to tell him about "special hugs" because of it.

My mom almost named me Lyric.

I had my first boyfriend when I was 8 and I dated him for nearly 2 years! ;)

My brother Bryce, cousins Kyle, Kelsie and I were inseperable as children. Kelsie and I still almost are. During the Arizona summer, we used to play a game where we would count to 3 then we would all step onto the hot black asphalt street. Last one standing, won. My feet cringe at the thought now.

I was pretty fluent in pig latin. Idday ouyay peaksay igpay atinlay? Ouryay osay oolcay! ahahahay!

I wish I was fluent in Spanish. I only know enough to know when my mother in law is talking about me.

I used to want 6 kids. So apparently, I used to hold higher standards for myself.

I had three journals growing up, all of which are lost which is very sad because I have had "kid names" scribbled down since I was 10.

I still rub my feet together to fall asleep.

I have never burped. Truly. Only because my body won't let me, not because I don't want to...trust me.

Up until last night at 11:59 pm, I thought 25 was old.

Today at 6:38 in the morning, I turned 25. A quarter of a century. I finally feel my age and not too young when someone sees my two kids and husband in a wheelchair. "23? Really?" No, 25 fits much better. I am liking the way it rolls off the tongue. I may have had to buy wrinkle cream the other day but guess what, I still have never found a gray hair. *fist pump*

Bee Stings and Playdates.

2011-05-15T23:50:00.001-07:00

Last week, on one of the cooler days, I met some of my best girls at the park. Niki was visiting from her 6 month stay in Texas and we just had to get together.

I realized something before we got there that stung a little, probably the way a bee sting feels: I am running out of park dates. Play dates. Kid things.In August, both of my kids will be in school. And I will be left alone. Pretty soon, no one will even think to invite me to the park or play dates because "all her kids are in school." I will just be an afterthought on a breezy fall day when they come across my chicken scratch on a ramada, "Alex was here."
Cause I most definitely was there.
I was there too.
And at that park too. I was there sitting casually on a bench as my children learned how to play with other children in the sand. I was there, standing in the hot sun with sweat trickling down my face, as I pushed both of my children in the baby swings. I was there to physically take them down their first slide. And I was there to catch them at the end when they decided to brave the slides for themselves. I was there cradling them up in my arms after they had fallen, or laughing when they had done something hysterical.

I was there bonding with my children for the last 6 years. Bonding with friends, strangers and wandering kids who wanted to bum a juice box off of me every now and then. Along the way, I did what I set out to do for both of my kids: taught them both how to pump themselves on the swings before kindergarten starts. Because as I've told them, "mommy won't be there to push you". And every time I say it, another bee stings me in the heart. But I watched with pride as Maddix worked her hardest last week, sweating, heaving and smiling as she got higher and higher in the air. She squealed out, "I can do it! I can go to kindergarten!" And yes, she passed the test on the big kids swing.

I just may be running out of time to have playdates but as any girl knows, the playdates aren't so much for the kids. Oh no, the truth is they are perfectly fit for the girls.
And I know they will never stop inviting me to those.

I appreciate you.

2011-05-13T10:25:00.000-07:00

You guys know how much I adore you, right?

Well, I really do and I don't mean that lightly.

You have been here for me to lift me up through the hard times. Been here to watch my kids grow up for 3 years. Been here to pray for me in a desperate time of need. Been here to laugh with me about how crazy life can be, like the time I accidentally wore a makeover two 4 year olds gave me, to Walmart. You showed me your support in this little voting thing, which I owe all to you. You have just been here for me. Supportive. Loving. Hilarious. And just great friends.

I wanted to do something special for you guys to show you how much I appreciate you. I have thought of a couple of things and I hope you like them.

First, Shabby Apple contacted me and whenever they do, I do not turn them away. Everything they have is lovely. Anyway, they wanted to give one of my beautiful readers this elegant dress:It's Spanish Steps from their Roamin Holiday Collection.

Isn't it darling? Look at the detail on the ivory bottom. I die.
I am so jeal of the girl or guy that get to own this beauty.

All you have to do is type your little fingers away in the comment section about how you want to show off this dress to your friends, family and neighbors.

For additional entries, leave seperate comments for each of these that you do or have done:
1. Follow my little ole blog and if you already do let me know.

2. "Like" Shabby Apple on Facebook.

3. Blog, tweet or facebook about this giveaway.

That up to four comments, my friends.

I appreciate you.
I hope you know I mean it sincerely and honestly.

You guys have till next Thursday, May 19th 11:59PM Arizona time to enter. I'll pick a winner randomly shortly after.

Waking Up With A Fork.

2011-05-11T16:52:00.003-07:00

Have you ever had the experience of your life taking an unexpected turn?

All of sudden, things have changed, your perspective has changed. Food tastes different. The steps you take have a different get-along to them. Your head is spinning in every direction and you can literally make yourself feel insane from the roller coaster of it all.

Things as you once knew, things you have been used to for long, aren't that same way anymore and you find yourself at that fork in the road. That very scary, make or break, love and hate fork in the road. You find yourself dreaming of the simpler days but those daydreams are fleeting and truthfully, you most likely would never want to go back to those days...knowing what you know now.
I think about the girl I used to be and I remember the girl I used to want to be.
And it's funny how you never really end up being any kind of girl you thought you would be.
It's people. They change you. For good and bad.
It's life. It takes wild and crazy turns. It's lovely and breathtaking.
Then one day you wake up and you're suddenly demanding so much more from yourself. More from your life. More living. More love.

I know people change. I have believed my whole life that people can change.
But most times, more often than not, it's their habits don't.

And sometimes that alone can lead you to that lonely fork in the road.Someone could at least leave some cookies here while I wait.
Maybe with a Dr. Pepper too.
Well now, I'm just being picky.

The Happiest (And Hottest) Place On Earth!

2011-05-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

I told my kids at the California sign that we weren't going to Eagar but that "We are going to DISNEYLAND!"
Bronson paused. Chuckled. Swatted the air as he said, "You're lying." And hopped back in the car.
Maddix felt so betrayed and just was so upset we weren't going to Eagar.

Then, it clicked!
They were giddy and so happy to be going.
We had to hear for the rest of the 4 hours, "Are we there yet? Are we there? Are we getting closer? Hurry up!?"

Finally, we did get there and no one was more happy to be out of the car than I was. (Replace driving in a car with a screaming baby for 6 hours to whining teenagers and a backseat driver husband and that's what I dealt with.) And wink! At one point, during a day at the happiest place on earth, Bronson proclaimed,
"Disneyland is delicious!"
It is.
And my kids want to live there.However, it was scorching hot there.
Riddle me this!
How in sam hill was it more hot THERE those three days than it was in ARIZONA those three days?
Answer: I can't escape heat.

I figured our fair trade for the heat was that we didn't have to wait in any lines. We got the backstage pass, my friends! Also known as, a wheelchair. The longest we waited was to see the Princesses which took about 40 minutes. And yes, Chellis got in and out of every single ride he wanted to go on. He was happier than a kid at Disneyland...oh, wait. That's exactly what he was.

Anyways, despite the heat and near dehydration, we had so much fun.

I adored watching my kids eyes light up when they would see something so awesome or go on a really fun ride. I screamed my head off when we were at California Adventure on a way-too-fast-almost-peed-my-pants roller coaster but Bronson was yelling through his laughter as we were going upside down, "This.Is.AWESOME!" I learned that he really is fearless. He's a thrill seeker. Be still my heart.I loved when Maddix got to meet the Princesses and how nervous she would get when they were talking to her. Her eyes were lit up like the fourth of July as she had fingers stuck in her mouth. She was in heaven when she got to meet her idol, Rapunzel. It was a priceless affair to Maddix. She would have waited all day just to see her. The kids took full advantage of getting almost every delicious treat they wanted throughout the day. Rootbeer floats, ice cream sandwiches, churros and cotton candy GALORE!
Or if you are a Dentist: You're worst nightmare.And our first day ended perfectly as we bumped into Mickey Mouse while leaving the park. I wanted to pour water into that poor guys huge Mouse mask to give him a little relief from the heat. But alas, I did not. I couldn't get us banned for the next two days. My brother did, however, shove cotton candy in his mouth.
Note to self: Don't bring your teenage brothers with you to Disneyland ever again. ;)
It was so worth it. It's already so magical to look back on and I smile everytime I hear my kids talk about something we did there with excitement bursting through their words.

We love Disneyland....

...and I'm pretty sure Mickey loves Maddix because he kissed her about three times.

But isn't the mouth on their costume where they see out of?
So I guess he really just rubbed his eyes on her head.
Hmm...

A Day All About You.

2011-05-07T09:30:00.002-07:00

{My Mom circa...the 1900's. Oh man, I slay me.}

There is no more beautiful thing in this world than being a mother and having a mother.

I would not be who I am today without the love and example of my beautiful Mom. She is a pillar to 4 children who admire her. Having the Mother I have had for the last almost 25 years has been the greatest blessing in my past, present and future. And that will never change.

I am blessed to be a mother to two beautiful children and lucky to be a part of so many precious children's lives. Motherhood changes you. It makes you do things you thought you would/could never do. It sometimes makes you crazy. It makes your heart grow beyond any measure. It makes you want to be your best version of yourself.

To those of you trying so diligently to get that baby your heart desires, you are a Mother in my eyes and in the eyes of many. Loving, yearning and dreaming of that precious baby and already making a home for them in your heart. Don't feel left out this day, but be proud of the hard work and dedication you are giving your unborns. I pray that you will hold them soon and you will.

Whether, you have a mother, are a mother, are going to be a mother shortly, wish to be a mother soon, have impacted and continue to impact the life of a child, have children that look up to you or have even so much told a child you loved them as you've embraced them. And to every woman who has been a mother-ish figure in my life:

You are the most beautiful women in the world to me. You are shaping the future and nurturing it with love. You are irreplaceable. You are loved and admired more than you know.

♥ Happy Mother's Day ♥

I Wish You Were There

2011-05-05T00:01:00.004-07:00

We are back from our vacation.

Fully exhausted.
Feet worn to the bone.
And Califonia-ed out.

Don't even get me started on how much I loathe unpacking because that involves my nemesis...laundry.

But most importantly, we made so many great memories this week.

While I re-coop, let me tell you about our first stop...::Huntington Beach::..I wish you could have been there to see the look on Maddix's face as her barefeet hit the beach sand for the first time in her almost 5 years. It was a beautiful moment for her. And for me to watch.I wish you could have been there to see Bronson's eyes get as wide as the moon when he saw those waves rolling in tickling the tops of his feet. And how he is such a little California Boy at heart. He was right in his element.I wish you could have seen there faces as they tried to outrun waves back to shore and hear them laugh hysterically as they fell in the chilly water doing so.

They would have spent all day there if we let them. Maddix especially loved it, which then solidified her love for swimsuits.It was beautiful and I wish...I wish...I wish you were there.

*Guys, guess what? One more day of voting and then I will shut the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks up for the rest of your lives. Hopefully. ;) Thanks so much, again. I just love you guys. I mean girls. Two clicks HERE. Cuh-chig-uh!

If You're Reading This...

2011-05-02T05:00:00.003-07:00

Hey guys!

So guess what? If you're reading this, I am in California. I have already spent a Sunday afternoon on the beach and watched my childrens eyes light up from the sight of the water and the sand in their toes. Hopefully, I have a pretty amazing looking tan. I have probably had about 17 Dr. Peppers. Passed out from the sight of California gas prices. Mourning the loss of one of my brothers since we had to sale him to pay for said gas. I am probably covered in bed bugs from the first night of sleeping at our hotel.

But, here's the best part, I am about to walk through the gates of Disneyland with my family for the very first time.

My kids have never been. They have dreamt of going and have been talking about how bad they want to go ever since I told them that, "No, Disneyland is not just where Mickey and Minnie sleep. It is the best place on earth!" Want to know the best part? They have no idea we are going. We told them we are going to Eagar, you know 3 hours North to visit Chellis' Mom, and they were beyond excited for that. Can you even imagine how excited they will be for Disneyland?!

I mean on a scale of 1 to Precious, how Precious is that?

By now, we've already surprised them and I hope I have a fun video of that to share with you guys. Wish us luck and pray that I can still handle all these crazy rides in my old age. Aka: hoping I don't pee my pants or throw up.

Until then, will ya pretty please vote for me here? I know guys, only a couple more days, fo realz. Promise. Seriously and sincerely, you guys are the best readers a girl could ask for. I'm lovin' and appreciating all your emails. You are just zee best!

Say-la-vee my loves!!
(Ya, I don't know how to really write it and I'm not googling it right now.)

♥

Then Sings My Soul

2011-04-29T04:01:00.001-07:00

A couple days ago, I lost one of the big diamonds on my wedding ring.
My freakin' almost 7 year old, sparkly, pretty and adored wedding ring.
Let me tell you, it was the cherry on top of a no more than poopy last week. (Cherry on top of poop? I have taken this blog to a whole new level.)

But see, on Good Friday Chellis had a doctor appointment. He also had a brand new electric wheelchair. Since the doctor is only about a mile from our home, Chellis wanted to "take himself" in his chair. So I went and ran errands with my Mom, and by errands I mean buy my new Easter shoes. Chellis called me while I was out and his electric wheelchair just...shut down. He was stuck on the side of the road. Nice, right? No. Not nice at all. We are going on a very special vacation next week and we have planned it all around this wheelchair.

So: Broken wheelchair, bad timing. Husband that is too young to be in a wheelchair in the first place. I am too young to feel this dang old. Diamond lost. Cherry on top of poop. I want to be changing poopy diapers (you know, from a baby) and I'm not. All these things that have not gone the way I intended came crashing down. In a nutshell, Debbie Downer died and made me Queen.So after I had dropped Maddix off at school the day I lost the diamond (to my now dollar store looking wedding ring) and parked in front of my house, I said a quiet prayer. A little something like this,

"Heavenly Father, I know this seems like the silliest prayer in the world because I am about to ask you to help me find a diamond but the truth is, I don't need your help with that. I need something else from you. I need to know that you have not forgotten about me because I have been feeling very forgotten. Heavenly Father, I will do whatever you ask me to do, and I will try and be the best example I can. I will do it but right now, I need to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I need to know that there are good things in store. I just need a little glimmer of hope. I need a promise of that light."

Later on, I was sitting on the side of the curb looking down the neighborhood for my kids. It was, surprisingly a ghost town. (Thank you Baseball season). The wind was blowing, the sun was setting and among it all I could feel these tender words flutter around my heart and soul,

"You will never be forgotten. You are a daughter of divine glory and you are destined for greatness. Hang on a little longer, great blessings are in store."While my diamond was not found, my light at the end of the tunnel was. And I have to say, it had more beauty in it than any diamond could have.

Of course there will still be hard days. And there will be days that seem impossible to conquer. And I will still offer that prayer from time to time.

But I'm hanging on, guys.
Even if it's by rope today or a thread tomorrow, I'm hanging on.
And guess what, you are destined for greatness too.

*Exercising your right to vote for this brunette here. Thank ya!

The Egg Olympiad.

2011-04-28T07:50:00.002-07:00

We had an egg toss for Bronson's birthday with all his neighborhood friends.
It was, as if it were, an Olympic event.
(Hmm? Maybe the Olympics should consider.)
Bronson and Jake happened to win the little shin-dig...twice!
Just a little friendly competition, right?

Well, and neighborhood bragging rights for a year.

Oh, boys!
Glad I never was one.

*A little friendly competition going on here. I know you are sick of the link to vote but thank you to you that have/are/will. Should I be handing out "I voted today" stickers. I think so! Oh, remember my friend Connie B...you should vote for her while you're at it. ;) ♥ ya'll. Vote now?

More Like A Gang Of Awesomeness.

2011-04-27T00:01:00.002-07:00

My Mom told me the other day, that when me and my brother were little, her and my Dad's biggest fear was that we would one day...be in a gang.
I laughed at the thought.
I mean, if you count being a gang of completely and utter awesomeness, then yes we are.
You're welcome, Mom and Dad.
Anyone wanna join?

I was telling Chellis about that tonight and we talked about our biggest fears for our kids:
Fears they will hate us.
Fears they will not be happy.
Fears they will say "Yes" to drugs and "No" to education.
But more than fears, I have hopes.

I hope they will be extremely happy.
I hope my son will be a gentleman and hold the door for ladies.
I hope my daughter will respect herself and her body.
I hope that they will marry well.
I hope that they will treat their spouse as if the sun rises and sets with them.
I hope they stick to what they know to be true.
I hope they are quick to forgive and speak kindly of others.
I hope they remember whose they are.
I hope they take care of those bodies that I have made from scratch.
I hope their greatest joy will be in the eyes of their children.
I hope they do something kind for someone everyday.
I hope that they when the going gets tough that they will walk with their heads held high.
And yes, I hope they will say "No" to drugs.

President Gordon B. Hinckley said once, "You know, if we would all be the kind of sons and daughters our Mothers think we are, we'd all be pretty good."
But I also think, if we'd all be the kind of people we hope our children will turn out to be, we'd all be pretty darn great too.

*Only a few more days of my tortuous link to vote.
Promise.
But you guys have got me movin' on up and I like it.
And I like YOU.

Easter Just Threw Up On My Blog...

2011-04-26T03:01:00.000-07:00

...at least it's pretty though.

The kiddos were so excited to color eggs this year.
And I must say, they've come a long way from having one dozen eggs all colored pink.
cough*Maddix*cough

Aren't they precious?
Even better, they love to eat their colored eggs. Yay for cheap protein!
That was my favorite thing when I was younger-crack, peel and eat my very own colored eggs. Weird? Just go with it. wink

This Easter was amazing.

My heart was full after an incredible Sacrament meeting and the lesson I had with my sweet Sunbeams.
My dear friend, Karrie, gave the most wonderful, spirit filled talk in Sacrament that had me in tears. The spirit was so strong. I am proud to be her friend.
I am grateful for t he gospel and the light it is in my life.
Forever and for always.
Of course Easter comes with some Easter attire.

While we were getting ready to take these pictures, I asked Chellis if he wanted his walker so he could stand. He said, "No." Next thing I knew, he was up out of his wheelchair and leaning against the garage door. I love a man that tries hard (especially like that) to make his woman happy. Even if it's just standing for Easter pictures.

Anyway, I tried to keep it cheap this year, pulling together things we already had and I have to say, we definitely were in our Sunday Best:Me
Dress-Shabby Apple {given to me graciously by them} but on sale now
Necklace- Tai Pan in Utah
Shoes-ELLE from Kohls on sale now inspired by my dear Becki {plus I used my $10 off}
Lipstick-Pearl Fuschia by Revlon (657)
Maddix
Dress-Old Navy {last year}
Knee High Socks-Target in stores now
Shoes-Gap in stores {I scored these baby's for $10}
Felt Bow-Made by me who was tutored by Mele
Chellis
Shirt-Kohls from 2008
Pants-Charcoal Dockers from Costco for cheap!
Tie-Croft & Barrow from Kohls
Shoes-Doc Martins that he has had for years {love them}
Bronson
Shirt-Target {last fall}
Pants-Old Navy still in stores
Tie-Matilda on Etsy
Shoes-Target still in stores

Oh boy! My kids were on a full out SUGAR high all morning.
No bueno...for me.
They were enjoying bouncing off the walls right up until they both got sent to their rooms.
It was, like I said, a great Easter!
Even if Kelsie and I placed 2nd in the Annual Easter Egg toss. ;)If you can't tell, it's serious business.

*Thanks for voting guys! Seriously, I'm so touched at the support you give me for simple things and the hard things. Reader Appreciation Day comin' atcha!

Houston, We Have A Six Year Old!

2011-04-25T00:01:00.002-07:00

Happy 6th Birthday to my favorite boy in the whole wide world!
I can't believe I have a six year old. Time surely flies when you're having fun and changing diapers.

Last night, I told Bronson the story of his birth. How we came into this world, he didn't cry. He just had the biggest, brightest and widest eyes as he scanned the room to see what he had gotten himself into. He was observing everything.
And he is still the exact same.
So observant.

I interviewed my SIX year old son about his Favorite Things and some randoms since he wanted me to keep going. He's easily amused.

.::Favorites as of 2011::.
Color: Orange
Sport: Baseball
Best Friends: Karl, Jake and Pratik
Movie: Diary of a Wimpy Kid-the one we saw in the theater
Song: Dynamite by Taio Cruz
Cereal: Ohs!
Food: Mom's Spaghetti
Holiday: Easter
Activity: Camping
Subject in School: Reading
Trip we've taken: Utah and Bear Lake
.::Future Thoughts::.
What do you want to be when you grow up?: An Extreme Biker, you know like that does tricks.
How old do you want to be when you get married?: Is this a good age, 20?
How many kids do you want to have?: 3! No, 4! No, wait, 2!
What color hair do you want your wife to have?: (Looks at me, then up at my hair) Blackish-Brown!
If you could buy one thing in the whole wide world, what would it be?: A dirt bike, even though you think they are dangerous.
What was your favorite birthday present?: My iPod that my Grandpa and Uncle Bryce bought me! It's awesome!
Where is one place you want to go so bad?: Disneyland!

I love you so much, Bronson.
You test my limits and melt my heart every single day. Thank you for choosing me to be your Mom and thank you for teaching me how to be a Mom.
I will always treasure those days I had when it was just the two of us, learning to survive in this new world together.
You have taught me everything I know about being a Mother, and you continue to teach me everyday.
You are sweet, determined, helpful, you have empathy for others and you are the best son a Mom could ask for.

Happy Birthday my sweet blond-haired-freckled-faced-boy, I hope you get what you wished for!
Because if I could, I would give you the moon."May God bless you and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others and let others do for
May you build a ladder to the stars and climb on every rung
And may you stay forever young."

Here was Bronson's cake that he, himself declared, "Awesome!"
I give you, my first try at the infamous Rainbow Cake:

Twas delish, my friends!
Even Chellis loved it, and he is not a cake or cookie kind of guy.

*Ahhh! So grateful to all of you who have voted! You are the bee's knees and some. I just want to smother you all with kisses. ;) Voting is still going on here for another week. Hooray! Seriously, best readers ever!*

My Day: Sun Up To Sun Down

2011-04-21T22:15:00.002-07:00

♥ Our morning faces and bedhead

♥ Life & Lucky Charms-Breakfast of Champions
♥ Bronson hugs me before running to the bus stop
♥ Gettin' in a good workout nice and early. Will ya still be my friend after this picture?
♥ Maddix turns to blow me a kiss before going into to preschool
♥ Yes, of course-TARGET
♥ Easter candy-Check!
♥ At the car wash-much needed after a pigeon assaulted my car yesterday
♥ Little friends playdate
♥ Little friends playdate mess
♥ Oh Sonic, your Happy Hour is my fave
♥ Cut both of my boys hair today
♥ Chellis lookin' mighty fine with the new do
♥ Family night bike ride
♥ Chellis keepin' up in his Go-Go chair
♥ And we wrapped up the day with dinner, laundry and some 30 Rock

And guys, that is one little day in my life.
More or less. ;)
One more big ♥ for your love and support. Your kind words and encouragement.
I can't thank you enough. I have the best readers in the whole wide world.
I hope you know I really do appreciate and love you.

Goodnight Moon.

*Guys, thank you SO much for voting! I never even thought of being in the top 25 let alone top 15. It's all because of YOU and I just love you so much. I am thinking of something special to do for you. If ya still can, vote here again. I know, I know...sorry. It's till May 5th.

Pity Party for One, Please.

2011-04-20T23:04:00.001-07:00

(Not to confuse any new readers: this little love bug is not my 2 year old but one of my best friends.)

I don't know if we can quite tag ourselves with the title "Infertile" yet.
Maybe we will stick with "fertility problems".
Whichever you want to call it, it plain ole sucks.

I just knew I was pregnant this time. I knew it worked. I just had a feeling. You know the kind. And then, yesterday I started that monthly gift, that really is no gift at all when you are trying to conceive. It more like a monthly destroyer of dreams and baby smells.

Today I found myself at the biggest party around. It was a pity party and I was the only one there. But boy oh boy, it was a big party.
Hey now!
I was doing Maddix's hair for school and thinking, "What if this is the only daughters hair I ever get to brush?" And walking Bronson to the bus stop I thought, "What if this is it for me? What if having more babies just isn't in my cards?"

I was a mess, which then led to me becoming a sobbing mess.

I yelled at Chellis for no reason, and now I don't even remember what I said or what it was about, but as I walked downstairs after yelling at him with a handful of trash I started crying. And I cried all the way to the garbage cans and then hid by the garage door so I could pat my tears into my cheeks. I don't like my kids seeing me cry.

I was thinking today that when Chellis was in the hospital, the heartache was lighter than this. I think it was because I knew a little. I had answers to questions. I saw what cards we had on our table and how/when I could play them. Yes, it was hard, very hard.
But this?
This is an exercise in complete and blind faith. I know nothing. It's a new practice for me but I plan on perfecting it as much as I can. I am so grateful for everything I have. For my two beautiful children and loving husband. They are my whole world. I am just really hoping and really anxious to add another life to my little world.

The Ensign released an article about Faith and Infertility. I feel just like those women. One of them said exactly what I was thinking,

"I'm not mad at Heavenly Father, I just feel left out by Him."

As much as I know that's not how He intends it, it just happens to be exactly how I feel.

I told you this was a big ole pity party. Luckily, it's by invitation only. ;)
(My heart goes out to those who have been/are going through this too. You are my heroes.)

*Thank you everyone who has voted and is continuing to vote on Top 25 Moms with Style. You guys are zee best and I just love ya!! It makes me so happy. Thank you, thank you. I'll make it up to you somehow. You can still vote daily here.*

And Guys, Freedom Was A Ringin'!

2011-04-19T20:25:00.005-07:00

Someone's life just got a whole lot easier!

Actually, pluralize that.

LIVES.
All our of lives just got a whole lot easier.
Because: Chellis is the proud new owner of an...wait for it...electric wheelchair!

(And the crowd goes wild!)

Boom-Shocka-Locka-HEY!!

Chellis said he was going to surprise Bronson at his bus stop.

Before I could say, jimmy-crack-corn (and I don't care) there they were.Bronson sitting on Chellis lap blazing down the street together at a mean five...yes, FIVE...miles per hour. Chellis picked up our son from the bus stop.

Then, they continued their day by racing up and down the street.
Via bike and via electric go-chair.
It melted my heart. Chellis felt like a new man. And our kids were so happy to be playing...they were PLAYING...outside together.
Do you know how long it's been since? Almost two years.

It was the perfect taste of sweetness with a hint of wonderful and a scoop of new found freedom.

And as you know, that's one of the best recipes.

(My dear lovelies, if you wouldn't mind going here and voting for moi I would certainly love you forever. For kicks and giggles. It takes two seconds. Pinky promise. Oh, gosh! Thanks! Best friends forever? Cool by me!
You can vote once a day. If you're a Momma Blogger, get in on this action. If not, spread the word and the ♥.)

Oh, That Revolving Door!

2011-04-18T23:00:00.000-07:00

My dear friend and I had a discussion once about how some things are just "instilled" in us from the very beginning of our creation.

She has this great quality instilled in her that I hope will be in all of my children.
She has always obeyed her parents. Listened and acted upon their counsel. Never did anything she knew was not pleasing to them. She just did. She never doubted them and it always led her down the right path. Which, of course, it would.

Me? Not so much. I had a rebellious side, as I know a lot of people do. Let me tell you, if my daughter has the same teenage attitude that I did, I am just going to start running for the hills now because I hear it comes back ten fold.

Anyway, back to what I was getting at...

-When my parents got divorced in elementary school, I didn't cry. I didn't blame myself.
-When my friend died in high school, I cried and struggled with that for a couple of days and then, I was there to be the strong one for my friends who needed it for the months to come.
-When I got pregnant at a very young, I didn't freak out. I wasn't scared.
-When Chellis became paraplegic, I never had a breakdown about him being paralyzed or worried too much about our future.
-(And some more craziness I could throw in here but I'll spare you.)

I know, I know, that makes me sound cold blooded but bear with me...

I think from a very young age I learned that things...just were what they were and by some crazy miracle, I learned to find peace in it.
I wasn't going to change it. I couldn't. These things were out of my control and in the hands of others and of the Lord. I could sit and loathe in self pity or I could pick myself up off the floor and do something about it.

Those trials, in different periods of my life, had become my new reality.
And that reality has been a revolving door...always spitting new struggles my way and transforming into a newer reality.

But that's okay, you know why?
Because when I was born, it was instilled in me that:

Things are and always will be...just as they should be.
So, "gird up your loins, fresh courage take, our God will never us forsake. And soon we'll have this tale to tell; All is well, all is well."
I'm not trying to toot my own horn. Do I even have a horn?
What I'm saying is, we all have that something and don't ever let that one strong quality go. 'Cause it turns out, it ends up being what you'll need most.

Do me a solid though, will ya?
Remind me this from time to time.
Especially when I keep getting those negative pregnancy results.

Free Advice!

2011-04-15T00:01:00.001-07:00

If you want a lesson in "Owning What You Wear":
{1} Take a two year old (FeeFee) shopping.
{2} Let her try on everything that's "look! cute!".
and
{3} Watch her shop around the store with no shame.
None.at.all.
Not even with the old lady who was grumbling instead of home taking a nap. And try wearing a sucker stick stuck to your bottom and not even caring.
Try it. I dare you.
(But really if you do, I want to see those pictures.)If these pictures don't make you smile, then I don't know what will.

Now, go out there and dress like a two year old.
You're welcome. ;)

I'm Just A Little Bit Caught In The Middle.

2011-04-13T16:45:00.000-07:00

This weekend brought rain.
Lots of it.

This weekend also brought new challenges.
The kind of challenge where you just want to throw in the towel. I mean you've done your best, you're confident in what you have given. And yet your heart is in despair and you are looking for anything or anyone to bring you back to life. To revive that part of you that has suddenly been frozen.I was brought back and when I was, I had a calming peace that has stayed with me since.
A quiet reassurance in that still small voice whispering,
"Everything is going to be okay."
Whichever way that could go.
I believe that.
The dry desert was replenished with a beautiful rainfall.
Probably more than it could have asked for.
I'm sure if Desert could talk to Rain it would smother it with 'thank you's' and a lot of prickly pear juice to take home to its family.
We bundled up in our winter gear, which to some is Spring attire, and nearly had to turn the heater on. It was perfect.
I love that while the dry desert was being replenished with assurance that it had not been forgotten, so was I. It's the simple tender mercies in life. Sometimes it's hard to catch them, but they are always there.

Plus, you know what they say,
April showers do bring May flowers.

And I always, always look forward to the sweetness that comes after the storm has passed.

It's All Love, My Stupid Love.

2011-04-07T00:01:00.002-07:00

Pictures I took of my smashing brother.

Life is tricky and it is full of curve balls.
You know one thing I've learned?
Make a plan and then plan on that plan not working out at all how you wanted it to.

It's Murphy's Law...or something like that.

No, it's timing. It is all timing and it is all on the Lords time.
And I have never felt so completely content until I accepted, no not accepted, embraced that fact.

I wanted to say something to my brothers.photo by ConnieB

I am so proud of each one of you.
You have done so much and blessed me with so much light in my life.
I am proud of your accomplishments in school and church. In your talents and in your life.
I am honored to be your sister.

Do me a solid, will ya?
Remember a couple things for me.

Remember that life is tough. Don't look for handouts. But never be afraid or ashamed to ask for help.

Remember that some things may seem hard today but I can promise you sunshine in the days that follow.

Remember that you are never too far gone to get back to what you could have been. That it is never too late to start over.

Remember that it is okay to feel vulnerable and scared. You will grow from it.

Remember that when you hurt, we hurt. When you rejoice, we rejoice.

Remember that you can either focus on your triumphs or your trials. Your blessings or your shortcomings. Your problems or your purposes. I hope you choose the latter of each of those.

Remember as you start a new chapter in your life, to look back and remember where you came from. You got yourself to where you are now. Be proud of that.

Remember that in your darkest moments or greatest accomplishments you are never alone. Someone is always watching over you.

Remember that the sun will still rise in the morning.

Remember whose you are.

Above all, remember that when this world crumbles and falls. When friends have sifted through our lives. When relationships have come and gone. When we are in our darkest dark or our lightest light. Whether we are filthy rich or dirt poor that we will always have each other. We are eternally bound. And I all right by that.

And remember this from time to time, for Mom:
"Are you the kind of son or daughter your Mother thinks you are? You know, if we would be the kind of boys and girls, sons and daughters our Mothers think we are, we'd all be pretty good." --President Gordon B. Hinckley

Oh! And remember, remember the 5th of November...and wink.

It's Kind Of Trespassing.

2011-04-06T00:01:00.001-07:00

Bronson has a friend named Pratik.
Pratik lives in a completely different neighborhood over on another street that is not even accessible without going out onto the busy road.
This last fall, Pratik realized the glory of our neighborhood and all the fun it has to offer. He's older than Bronson but our the little Buttercream Gang in the neighborhood has no age limit. It starts at age 3 and goes up to 11.

My favorite thing ever is how Pratik gets into our neighborhood.
He hops our brick wall, stands on the trash cans and then jumps into the whole new world that is our street:

On Saturday mornings, when chores are done, Bronson will climb up on the fence and yell Pratik's name until he comes out of his house to play. They are good little buddies.

Who would have known that our little brick wall was keeping all of these memories that have been made away from these kids?

Then, when his Mom yells his name, he hops the fence back home. And it makes me smile every time.
Tell me that isn't classic?
And yes, it totally reminds of a character in a TV series or something.

Elle, Em, En, Oh, Pea.

2011-04-01T00:01:00.001-07:00

a} We had a triple date to Target on Monday where Chellis spoiled his "girls" a little too much. We all left feeling very happy from the endorphins released while shopping. Oh, what's that you say? It was just me? Hmmm...

b} Last weekend we took Bronson and Maddix and two of their friends to see Diary of a Wimpy Kid. It was so funny. And even funnier, tonight Bronson called it Diarrhea of a Wimpy Kid. I laughed so hard in the middle of the store I made an ederly man whip his body around.

c} Maddix has seen Tangled at least 12 times. I'm not even exaggerating. Raise your hand if you can top that? I know I can't.

d} Miss Thang got some "high heel" shoes that I intended for church but little woman has been rockin' those shoes to every place we have been. Clomping the whole way.
e} Bronson and his love affair with spaghetti. When I make it, he eats just as much, if not more than Chellis. It is his absolute favorite. Of course, it's only my spaghetti he loves.

f} TOMS for everyone! My kids love them and I just die over how cute they look on their little feet. Dontcha think?

g} The sunset is my favorite part of the day. Sometimes it just makes the most gorgeous sky. I am loving the water tower.

h} The other day Bronson got home from school and told me there was a bird in our house. But I will say, this guy was cute and little. Bronson got him with his hat and when he took him outside, the bird didn't fly away. He hung out in Bronson's hat for a while letting us get as close as we wanted.

i} Chellis hates when I take pictures of him. He has to be in the "mood". And really, he never is. This is proof to prove he is still alive and kicking.

j} I had the privilege of meeting a new friend this week. I just love Becki! We had a blast at brunch talking our heads off and spilling our entire life stories. She's amazing and she's definitely a keeper. Oh! And she's talented. She is Becki of the one and only Whippy Cake. Have you had the joy of wearing one of her creations? Do it! She doesn't disappoint and she's releasing her summer line next week. Hooray! I heart you Beck-tronic.

k} Our little man wrote us a cute little note and quitely delivered it to me, walking away trying to hide his smile. It reads, "I ♥ Mom and Dad vare much. You are the best mom and dad." I love it and him!

l} BFFS through and through. These will be in a cat fight one minute and then defending each other from the older kids until they are blue in the face another. It's beautiful. They were definitely meant to be in each others lives.

m} Swimsuit season has arrived at our home. Well, let's be honest, Maddix welcomed her swimsuits with open arms back in January but now it is actually hot enough to wear them. Today we are getting ready to brace a fierce 97 degrees. If you don't hear from me by Wednesday, it is because we have quickly uprooted to Canada.

n} We do breakfast for dinner at least once a week and it is usually always french toast. This week I made heart shaped french toast. The kids loved it. Maddix was so upset when I had to cut it up for her.

o} And it was a miracle from heaven! He's smiling. He's actually smiling. I'm going to tell you a little secret...I think he's in love. Don't tell his Mom.

p} Remember when I was talking about breathtaking sunsets here in Arizona. This was one of them and I am happy to say the sun set on a wonderful, exciting, exhausting and very rewarding week here in our family.

Happy Weekend!
I can't wait for General Conference and some good quality time with my whole family.

Public service announcement:

Be on your toes.
Today is April fools day.
Don't be a victim, be a victimizer. (?)
That is all.

I Can Throw Fits Too.

2011-03-30T21:30:00.000-07:00

My children have been testing my patience now more than ever.

To the point where I just want to go hide in the closet with a tray of Oreos until the dust has settled.
They have been extra sassy lately with a side of frassy.
What's frassy?
I have no clue but I do know, I don't like it.
They have been throwing fits. Real fits.
Fits when they have to come home for dinner.
Fits when they strike out during baseball practice.
Fits when it's time to shower.
Fits when we are out of Rice Crispies.
Fits, fits, fits of every shape and kind!

But you know just when I think I'm at my wits end, they remind me of what I am doing and why they are worth all of those fits.
Bronson reminds me with his wrinkled up nose when he laughs.
The way he wraps his arms around my hips.
His dedication in every single thing he does.
With the sweet words he says in his prayers.
Or the little love letters he leaves us.

Maddix reminds me with her deep dimple and darling brown eyes.
With her zest for life and the love she gives.
The way she calls us "Mama" and "Dada", still.
How she cherishes the simplest memories and still thanks us for them.

I had these two 13 months apart and when Maddix was first born I remember thinking there was no way I was going to make it out alive.
Now it's nearly 5 years later and sometimes they still have me thinking that.
And I love it. I love it with everything that I am.
Yes, I'm grouchy some days. Yes, I raise my voice. Yes, I want to hide in the closet with snacks once in a while.
But I am in love with these two spirits who make my life so much...more.
More than I'd ever dreamt it could be.

Just please do me a favor....
Don't mention how much I am going to hate the teenage years.
I might have a raging fit.

The Time We Almost Had "The Talk".

2011-03-28T21:00:00.001-07:00

Today while I was mopping the floor and Chellis and Maddix were eating lunch at the table, Maddix asked me innocently,

"Mom, how do you get babies?"
"What do you mean?"
Then she said,
"Like, you know, when you got married and then you wanted babies? How do you make babies?"

Chellis spit his food out from a fit of laughter and I grinned with my back to her.
While my motherly instinct was trying to come up with a four year old appropriate answer, I kept thinking, "I cannot believe she asked me that. She's too young. I'm too young. Oooo! I get to add more points to my 'I'm officially a Mom' chart."

As I stammered over my words sounding like a complete fool I gave it a shot with,

"Well, there is a special...(come on, come on)...seed guy."
(Really? From The Switch? So lame of me...)
"I mean, bird. A big...stork bird. There's a special stork..."
(Am I really going with the whole stork thing?)
"Actually Maddix, when two people love each other..."
(No! No! No!)
"I mean, Heavenly Father sends...um..."
(Maybe I should just jam this mop down my throat? Why can't I think of anything to say?)

I actually considered just walking out of the room.
And then, just in the nick of time, the
You're-not-ready-to-have-the-sex-talk fairy
swooped in and suddenly our little puppies were barking at the door distracting Maddix and making her forget all about it.
For now.

I have never even thought in my last 6 years of being a Mom of what I would say to that. The fairy bought me some more time to find an appropriate aged answer for my children who will be asking that question again soon.

Next time, I'll be...kinda-sorta...ready.
Any suggestions?

Just Pretend I Have A Really Clever Title For This Post.

2011-03-25T01:11:00.001-07:00

We are on the brink of the of our favorite part of the week.
The weekend.

There is a calm that enters my soul when Bronson gets off the bus on Friday afternoon. I think it's that the hustle and bustle of our weekday routine gets thrown out the window.
You want to stat out until it gets dark to play with your friends?
Sure! No homework to do, pizza for dinner.
You don't want to shower tonight?
Well of course you don't have to! No school tomorrow.
And so on...

Today was one of those almost spontaneous sort of days that turned into exactly what I needed.

--I got to sing Happy Birthday to Phoebe and consequently Mele (Sorry girl. My morning singing voice isn't that great. I should have called around 2. That's when I sound like Adele.) and hear her tell me again that today she is "two minute".

--Our home was sprayed to keep out our summer pests and my worst nightmare...scorpions.

--I had a shopping trip with Candice and dined at the most fanciest place of all. The food court at the mall. We're high rollers.

--I got to talk with Karrie on her front porch, my favorite pastime, and we decided to swap around kids per their requests. But that was after I had a caterpillar thrown at me and Karrie and her Mom (Hi, Nedra!) got to witness the girly girl in me when I jumped up squealing and hopping around. (I don't like bugs and crawly things.)

--I obliged to the girls when they asked me to "play that game that you do when you pretend like you're serving us food". I named it,"Restaurant". I know, I know...I'm original. They all ordered the same, and the only thing on the menu, French Toast topped with syrup and powdered sugar. And to drink? Root Beer. (Their choice, not mine.)

--I got to watch BYU in overtime with my man. Afterwards, I hugged him and gave him my condolences. Then said, "Mormon hearts are breaking all around the world right now." Then we watched some of the Arizona vs. Duke game. (Hey-Ohh AZ!)

--Our nightly routine ended just in time for Chellis and I to finally watch a new episode of Grey's Anatomy and I totally called what was going to happen in that last scene. (Let the records show...)

--I rubbed my husbands shoulders until my fingers were numb and made a last minute call to find a storyteller for Bronson's class tomorrow.

And now I get to go lay in bed. Think about today and how Maddix mentioned "my baby" about seven times this week. She keeps asking, "Mom, when is your baby coming back? Maybe on my birthday!" I sure hope so.
I am excited for a brunch I have tomorrow to give my best and send off one of my best friends to Texas for a while. I'll miss you, Nik.

Just before the kids went to bed they were in ours. Bronson was on Chellis' side, Maddix was on mine, and they looked just like Chellis and I do at night:You thought they were going to be cuddling didn't you?
I laugh.
Think again.
They have our iPhones and are playing Angry Birds.
(Only replace Bronson's Angry Birds with Bejeweled and replace Maddix's Angry Birds with Internet and Emails.)Like the saying goes, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I know that saying does not apply here, but just go with me...for kicks.

Here's to a great week's end!
(cue sound a clinking glasses)

Keepin' Up And Keepin' At 'Em.

2011-03-23T06:50:00.000-07:00

This little lady, that is so madly in love with my son, is the one responsible for making Chellis and I crave a third child.

On a quiet night, almost exactly one year ago, I had her (then, just barely one years old) tucked into me on my bed fast asleep. The kids played beside us and Chellis flipped through the channels on the television until he landed on the Disney channel.

My heart and mind were conversing,
"We could do this. I could totally do this. Wait, could I do this? Three? Yes, I could this. I think."
When Chellis tickled her little hand and said,
"I want another one."
Curse our telepathic-married minds.
And so it began...his battle with me.

See, I wanted a baby but I wasn't ready.
I was still a little...crazy. Not settled with our new life.
Which now, seems so odd because I don't think I could settle for our old life.
For months and months my patient husband waited for the green light, and on one fine fall day, he got it.

We're still waiting for that positive test.
The sound of a tiny heartbeat.
The profile of a tiny embryo becoming a baby.
For that exact baby.

And I will keep waiting.
I will chart my monthly cycle.
I will track my ovulation days.
I will pee on a million sticks if I have to.
I will keep propping my butt up on three pillows for a half an hour to defy gravity.

I will keep on keepin' on until my heart is more than satisfied with that sound of our baby's little, precious heartbeat.

Oh, and of course a round of applause for the holder of the X and the Y chromosome, the donor of the specimen, Mr. Chellis Hall.

I love you Phoebe Bebe.

I've Moved On And You Need To Move On Too, Spring Break.

2011-03-21T00:20:00.001-07:00

Dear Spring Break,

Hey there. How ya doin'? I hope this finds you on your warmest and sunniest of days as this is the hardest letter I've ever had to write.

You know how much I have loved you right? I remember when I met you at the young age of 5. You were everything young girl could hope for. As time went on, I fell more and more in love with you and I looked forward to the time I got to spend with you. We sure did have fun, didn't we, Spring Break? Sunbathing, shopping, quick getaways, swimming and staying out late enough to worry my Mom. But now, things have changed. I got married. I had kids and one of those has kids started school. That's where things got tricky.

This last week was great sleeping in and meeting your morning gaze at 8 O'clock in the morning. I had a blast hanging out with my kids and meeting up with friends. They really liked you, you should know that. I appreciated the tan I got and the memories I made. I don't want you to think I take any of that for granted. I want you to remember too. Here's some pictures of the week we had together:It really was great times but this is where it gets hard.

I don't think I want to see you anymore.

I love having my kids home all day, everyday but all things in moderation, Spring Break. You really did a number on my patience this week. I was this close to pulling some hair out, and may have banged my head on the wall a few times. And you totally racked up my chore list. I had to sweep, mop, scrub and clean up spills more times than any one person would want to in a month, let alone a week. You were too much for me this week. I did it. I made it through, but barely. I felt like Jack in Titanic, hanging on for dear life...scared and alone. At least I made it out alive.

I'm sorry but we are going to have to end things here. I'm an adult now. I'm a wife and mother now. Mom's and you don't go well together. I think it would be in both of our best interest if you would go and make some high school girls happy. They need you. I guess you were right all along, I have always loved Christmas break more than you. Thank you for the good times, I'll never forget you. (Until next freakin' year.)

With love,
Alexa

p.s. I'm sorry to say, Ariel didn't survive.

A Lemonade Stand For Japan.

2011-03-17T23:20:00.000-07:00

A couple days after the earthquake and tsunami in Japan, the kids caught footage of what happened there. They had a lot of questions and their little-big hearts, like mine and Chellis', were desperately sad for the people of Japan. I was haunted by photographs and images I had seen on the news and in the paper (and still am). Bless their hearts, they both said they would send Japan their own clothes and blankets.

What can kids so small do for a country? For Japan?

Earlier this week, my friend Lyndsay posted on Facebook that they were having "Juice for Japan" and all proceeds were going to the American Red Cross.
The lightbulb in my head went off.
If you don't remember, this neighborhood is pretty famous for having Lemonade stands.
I suggested the idea to my kids and they were giddy with joy. Then, I threw the idea to my partner in crime and juicer extraordinaire, Karrie. She was in 117% as were her kids.They couldn't wait. It was sweet to hear them all talk about it. They all knew full well what the cause was for. They knew we were trying to raise as much money that our little Lemonade Stand could muster, for the people of Japan so they could get water, food and clothes.
Things we take for granted.
So we gathered our lemonade, ice, cups and signs and headed out the door to bring in the customers.Every single one of those kids worked hard. They stood in the sun for two hours, shouting for customers, talking to strangers, holding up signs, pouring lemonade and getting sticky from head to toe. After they collected the money, Maddix would yell, "Thank you for helping Japan!"

And not once did we hear any of them complain or ask to go home.My heart is full at the end of this day. Watching young children valiantly give service to those in great need does something kind for your soul.
Especially, watching your own children. I am a proud Mama.
The children's faces beamed with pride and astonishment when they counted the money.

They raised $93.16...and counting.

It's not much but......that, my friends, is what kids so small can do for the country of Japan.

Up To The Highest Skies.

2011-03-09T17:42:00.001-07:00

The other day we had some fierce wind here in the valley.

The kids wanted to fly a kite.
They wanted help, so I showed them how to do it but told them that it's something you have to learn to do by yourself to really get it down.
Many times, when the kite would hit the ground and they would continue running while dragging it, I would start to get up to help or open my mouth to correct them but remembered, they had to teach themselves.

And you know what?
They never gave up.
I watched them run up and down the street until they got that kite in the air.
The smiles on their faces said it all.
They were pleased with their hard work.

Today I realized that is what Heavenly Father feels for me.
He is helping as much as He can.
Cheering on the sidelines.
(Maybe even snapping a few pictures while sipping on soda.)
Waiting for me to learn for myself.

I know, more than anything, He's waiting to see that rewarding smile on my face when my faith and patience has paid off.
And I know He will be thinking, "See! I knew you could do it."

So much for teaching my kids how to be potty trained.
I think I have learned more from them.
Thank you my little loves.

My Last Time Out Was In 1996.

2011-03-03T09:01:00.001-07:00

What you don't really need to know but I'm telling you anyway #1:

I call a time out.

I need one.
So, I'm taking one.
More on that in a minute...

What you need to know #2 :
Yesterday, Chellis had a procedure done at the hospital called a TEE. They put him in "twilight", stuck a camera down his throat and into his heart to make sure there are no holes they may lead to another stroke. Of course, he wouldn't have a hole, right? Wrong.
They did find a hole in his heart and when they told me, my heart stopped for a brief second.
He doesn't have room in his brain to even be at risk for another stroke.
I've heard this 'hole in the heart' is kind of common, but guys?

What you need to know #3:
I'm so sick of getting bad news at the dang hospital.
Every time we have left a hospital since 2009, I say,
"Next time we leave a hospital, it will be with a new baby in my arms."
As you know, that has yet to happen.
So, I'm going to stop saying it.
I keep jinxing myself.
What you need to know because if I didn't tell you, you would feel left out #4:
I fell yesterday.
I'm an adult and I fell flat on my back.

Right after the last frame of this picture, I looked up from my camera, realized Maddix was coming right at me as faster than a freight train and my life flashed before my eyes.
I manuevered my body in an attempt to get out of the way. I did get out of the way of her, but not before my right foot got ran over and suddenly I found myself mid-air thinking in those few miliseconds:

"I'm sooo going down! Where's my phone? Oh yes, back pocket. Try to protect your butt from the fall and save your phone. What about my precious camera? Of course! Hold it in the air and save its life before your own, at all costs."
Then, I landed flat on my back on the surprisingly soft, dead grass.

I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants.
Everyone laughed so hard that some may have peed, I don't know. I was too busy trying not to.
Very few things are as funny as and adult falling. Period.
I laughed the rest of the day about it.
Then, last night Chellis and I were in tears about it.
I'm pretty sure we were slap happy but it's all foggy now.

Later, I realized the greatest part of it was that I wasn't even slightly embarrassed.
I have been known to rock a mean tomato red face anytime I am embarrassed, but not yesterday!
I love my peeps.
It was legend...wait for it...dary!
(Chellis and I have almost finished all 5 season of How I Met Your Mother. Hey-yo!)

What you should know because I adore ya #5:
I am at such a good place in my life.
I'm so happy with the amazing people that are in my life right now.
I am blessed indeed.
I love and I am loved.
But I am burnt.
So here's my time out.
I need to reassess.
I need a breather.
I need to take a step back.
I need to filter out the rest of the bad in my life and magnify the good.
I need to do something good in the world everyday, whether it be big or as small as a smile.
I need to serve my loved ones and make sure they all know how much they mean to me.
I need to listen to the wise words of our sweet prophet, President Monson,

"We become so caught up in the busyness of our lives. Were we to step back, however, and take a good look at what we’re doing, we may find that we have immersed ourselves in the “thick of thin things.” In other words, too often we spend most of our time taking care of the things which do not really matter much at all in the grand scheme of things, neglecting those more important causes."

Guys, I have some important causes to tend to.

Addressed To Me.

2011-03-02T10:09:00.003-07:00

My darling friend Beth is amazing and so talented!
I love love love getting surprises in the mail and when I got this envelope addressed to me, I sat down outside and opened it.
I smiled all day.
I'm in love with it.
Beth, I hope you know how much this means to me and how much we will treasure it.
I love you girl.
And my friends, this is what happens when people share their talents.
They make the world spin.
I'm so glad she shared her talent with me.

How big do you think I can blow this up?
Because guys, it's going on one huge wall. ;)

There's No Cure As Of Yet.

2011-03-02T07:01:00.000-07:00

Someone in our home has come down with a very sick illness.

I hear it's an epidemic this year.
One day Bronson was completely fine and then the next?
Bam!
Fever.
A bad one.
Doctors ruled it as...wait for it...
Bieber Fever.I know, I know.
Take your time.

Bronson has been resisting anything Bieber since he heard that it was "not cool" to like him.
I have spent all week assuring him that if he thinks Justin Bieber is cool, then Justin Bieber is cool.
Plus, if I liked (or maybe, obsessively loved) Hanson back in the day then what's wrong with a little Justin Biebs?
I mean I turned alright-bop-bop-do-wop.Bronson has been listening to the Biebs non-stop on the iPod-amus, with the headphones in and the volume cranked.
Hence, we have been listening to Bronson sing along...loudly.
Very loudly.
(You know, because he can't hear how loud he is actually singing.)
It was cute and so funny for the first couple days but like I said, he sings loud.
Like,
So.Dang.Loudly.And.It.Never.Stops.I.Hear.It.In.My.Sleep.Justin, I promise I will Never Say Never ever again, but please for the love of everything Mmm-bop make it stop.But check it!
Our homeboy even listens to his jams while shooting hoops.
Take notes guys, 'causeThat's just how he rolls.

Super Barbie Will Not Come To Your Rescue.

2011-03-01T07:01:00.000-07:00

Maddix made up a trampoline game today called,

"Super Barbie!"
(dun-dun-duh!)She piled some of her barbies in the center of the trampoline and then all of her friends bounced around the badly dressed, ratted hair, plastic (but it's fantastic) women and they went flying.
The girls and the barbies.
As they did, they would try to yell over their intense laughter,
"Super Barbie!"They declared,
February 28th, 2011 as the day the game "Super Barbie" was created...
...and it will continue to live on for generations to come.
(Or just until they think of a better game. I give it a week.)

The Carnival.

2011-02-28T09:00:00.001-07:00