Thursday, March 03, 2011

My Last Time Out Was In 1996.

What you don't really need to know but I'm telling you anyway #1:
I call a time out.
I need one.
So, I'm taking one.
More on that in a minute...

What you need to know #2 :
Yesterday, Chellis had a procedure done at the hospital called a TEE. They put him in "twilight", stuck a camera down his throat and into his heart to make sure there are no holes they may lead to another stroke. Of course, he wouldn't have a hole, right? Wrong.
They did find a hole in his heart and when they told me, my heart stopped for a brief second.
He doesn't have room in his brain to even be at risk for another stroke.
I've heard this 'hole in the heart' is kind of common, but guys?

What you need to know #3:
I'm so sick of getting bad news at the dang hospital.
Every time we have left a hospital since 2009, I say,
"Next time we leave a hospital, it will be with a new baby in my arms."
As you know, that has yet to happen.
So, I'm going to stop saying it.
I keep jinxing myself.
What you need to know because if I didn't tell you, you would feel left out #4:
I fell yesterday.
I'm an adult and I fell flat on my back.

Right after the last frame of this picture, I looked up from my camera, realized Maddix was coming right at me as faster than a freight train and my life flashed before my eyes.
I manuevered my body in an attempt to get out of the way. I did get out of the way of her, but not before my right foot got ran over and suddenly I found myself mid-air thinking in those few miliseconds:

"I'm sooo going down! Where's my phone? Oh yes, back pocket. Try to protect your butt from the fall and save your phone. What about my precious camera? Of course! Hold it in the air and save its life before your own, at all costs."

Then, I landed flat on my back on the surprisingly soft, dead grass.

I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants.
Everyone laughed so hard that some may have peed, I don't know. I was too busy trying not to.
Very few things are as funny as and adult falling. Period.
I laughed the rest of the day about it.
Then, last night Chellis and I were in tears about it.
I'm pretty sure we were slap happy but it's all foggy now.

Later, I realized the greatest part of it was that I wasn't even slightly embarrassed.
I have been known to rock a mean tomato red face anytime I am embarrassed, but not yesterday!
I love my peeps.
It was legend...wait for it...dary!
(Chellis and I have almost finished all 5 season of How I Met Your Mother. Hey-yo!)

What you should know because I adore ya #5:
I am at such a good place in my life.
I'm so happy with the amazing people that are in my life right now.
I am blessed indeed.
I love and I am loved.
But I am burnt.
So here's my time out.
I need to reassess.
I need a breather.
I need to take a step back.
I need to filter out the rest of the bad in my life and magnify the good.
I need to do something good in the world everyday, whether it be big or as small as a smile.
I need to serve my loved ones and make sure they all know how much they mean to me.
I need to listen to the wise words of our sweet prophet, President Monson,

"We become so caught up in the busyness of our lives. Were we to step back, however, and take a good look at what we’re doing, we may find that we have immersed ourselves in the “thick of thin things.” In other words, too often we spend most of our time taking care of the things which do not really matter much at all in the grand scheme of things, neglecting those more important causes."

Guys, I have some important causes to tend to.

17 Splendid Notes:

Yours Truly said...

I am so sorry about the bad news. Just remember President Holland, "don't you give up. you keep walking..good things to come."

I am grateful you are so open about this on your blog, makes me feel not alone when it comes to downers or trials :)

keep your chin up! you and your fam are beautiful!!

Rachel said...

Bad news always takes your breath away. It's never fun to hear. But lots of prayers and lots of love are being sent your way. Take that much needed rest and run with it. Listening to President Monson and all of those wonderful men like him never fails to make you better :)

Beth said...

I love that quote by President Monson. That whole talk is amazing, as are you. My prayers are with you and your family! You are so strong you can do anything. xoxo

mama boss said...

President Monson is a wise man. :)

Just know that, if I could, I would totally make you the yummiest dinner, so you wouldn't have to worry about it, and could focus on the things that need you. ♥

Kate said...

I am not LDS, but I love the wise words my LDS friends quote on their blogs. I am often inspired by your Prophet's and Leader's talks. Thank you for sharing that passage!

I am so glad you could feel joy and laugh off your fall--also glad you weren't injured by it.

Chellis will be in my prayers, as your whole family always is.

You take all the time you need. I too am taking a little break from certain things that I realized are not worth the worry I place on them.

I love you big.

kayla said...

You and your family are so adorable. I love reading your blog. And your hubby will be in my prayers. Good luck, girly.

Monique said...

I found that quote very inspirational, especially at a time, when I, too, feel like I need to reprioritze and not get bogged down by things that don't matter in the big picture. Thank you :)

Reenie said...

~Hugs and prayers to you and your family~

Sandra said...

I agree that reading your blog helps my trials seem more bearable. I emailed you last year to ask you if Chellis' stroke was caused by a pfo because I had recently found out that I had a pfo and had to have it repaired, I don't know if you remember that. Anyway, it is very common and the procedure to have it closed is a very simple procedure, even though it sounds very scary when you say you are having heart surgery. I actually was not put all the way under and heard the doctor say "we're into the heart" at the beginning of mine and remember my husband and parents coming in to the OR afterwards so the doctor could walk them through what he had done, showing them the whole procedure on the machine he had used to see what he was doing as he had gone in through a vein in my leg. My aunt also had a pfo and has had many strokes throughout her life, her first when she was in her early 20's. For us, although finding the hole in my heart was another "bad" thing in a year of heartbreak and trial we choose to believe it was a blessing that we found it before I had a stroke and that we were able to get it repaired and that hopefully I will have no further complications from it. (Even though my initial reaction was to look upwards and think "are you kidding me? I can't take much more!!")

I think you are handling everything you are going through with much grace and I know that the trials we are given in this life are for a purpose, for our growth and learning. Heavenly Father does love you and He does have a plan in place for each of us, even if that plan does not seem clear at this time.

Sandra

Jensen Family said...

sometimes i think falls that make us laugh we pee are meant to be.. they kind of help brighten our day.. or week as you laugh about it everytime you think about it!

i love pres monson.. what a great quote.. i need to take a quick look at what i need to be doing and what i dont need to be doing!

{andthisiswhatshesaid} said...

love this post. I agree. I have so much going on that I feel like I cant handle it and I need to evaluate and access and deal with it.

Dara said...

Oh my, you have been through just about every awful thing i can think of. but you handle it with a grace that {seriously} reminds me of Emma Smith. You're an inspiration & i can't tell you how much your example means to me. I know it's not probable, but if there is anything i can do let me know. i promise if i can, id do whatever. <3

angela hardison said...

i love that quote. sorry about the bad news - hope everything will be okay!

i should put myself in time out more often.

Anonymous said...

Hey..
I don't know if you even read these but I'm going to post my very first comment on a blog and it is to you. I'm writing to you from PEI, Canada. I'm a 36 year old Momma of two babies, 4 & 2 and I am a STROKE SURVIVOR ! I came across your blog as link to a link..yah da yah da.
I have two strokes in October 2009. Sound like a familiar month/year?
At the time my babes were 18 mons and 2 1/2..It was CRAZY. One minute I was fine getting my kids strapped into the van, the next I was slurring, lost feeling on my right side, puking,. My hubs took me to the hospital and they sent me HOME..saying I had a migrane and to "rest". Next day I couln't get out of bed. BAck to H and CAT scan and there were the two "clouds". ICU for a week, and a hospital and rehab stay for two months without ever seeing my babes just.about.did.me.in. They did a procedure "the bubble test" where they found a hole in my heart as well. I had heart surgery in Oct.2010, after I was physically up for it. All went well and I'm just grateful they found a reason for my strokes..b/c there was no other reason for a healthy young Mom, former runner, to have a stroke..RIGHT?
I just wanted to share my story and say a big THANK YOU to you and your beautiful kiddos and handsome hubby for sharing your story on line. You may never ever read this, but just know that there is a follower of yours lurking around your life and glad for the up-lifting up-dates on how your hubs and you and yours are doing. I check in daily. Good luck with the PFO, if that is what it is and "keep on plugging away."
Blessings, A Canadian Follower !

Dustin & Kristen Lantz said...

Alex, if anyone deserves a time out it's you. Besides, it's always easier to handle what you are given with a clear head. You are a strong woman and I am blessed to know you. We need to get all these cute kids together soon!

jdavissquared said...

Just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you. Wishing only the best for your sweet family.

Natalie said...

I fall all the time..I feel ya.

And I love this post. So wonderful. You're amazing! Miss you!